Reclaiming Our Children: A Blog About Healing After Abortion

What’s in a Name?

"Tis but thy name
that is my enemy. What's in a name? That which we will call a rose. By any
other word would smell as sweet."

 So
goes the dialog in the famous balcony scene of Shakespeare’s Romeo &
Juliet. I think of that scene when I am aware of how much I do not like to be
referred to as “pro life” or “anti abortion.”

I have tried to make
sense of my aversion, especially since, after all, I am 100% pro life.

Perhaps it comes from my
frustration in being a post abortive woman. 
I have always felt to some degree or another “stuck” in the middle of
the debate, not because of the issue of life itself, but because of the
understanding, or lack of understanding, there seems to be on both sides about
those who are post abortive.

Don’t get me wrong it has
improved greatly and continues to improve, and I certainly do not blame
anyone…how would anyone know? It has been such a deep, dark , secret of shame
that no one spoke of for years and years, so, it is not frustration at people,
but the issue in general.

It may be because article
upon article from the main stream media portrays a plot by the “anti-abortioners”
in making it seem like abortion
hurts women. The new head of the American Psychiatric Association, Nada Stotland, is a feminist who is also on the board of Physicians for
Reproductive Health and Choice. In a recent article on Medical News Today, Stotland
says abortion is one of the most common surgeries in the

U.S.

, and,
according to the Times, physicians
have not seen an epidemic of trauma in women or men. Antiabortion groups have
"succeeded in convincing the American public" that abortion harms
women.

You get the picture.

I have to wonder if
Stotland has been under a rock, since in recent years more and more women and
men are speaking out about the harm abortion has done to them. Not “anti
abortion” people, but “post abortive” women and men.  Those directly involved.

My aversion may also be
because in some pro life circles we are still condemned by those who do not
chose to understand why abortion happens. They condemn the sinner instead of
the sin without even knowing the circumstances surrounding the personal
abortion. Not that it is ever right, abortion is never right, but we can
certainly understand how it can come to be. We are also told they are “saving
babies” when many times we could not even “save” our own baby.

Post abortive people are often
not acknowledged or given the opportunity to speak for ourselves and our
children. In some ways we have been aborted too, not only by people who may
have pressured us to abort, but by a society who refuses to listen to what we
are saying. While I recognize many do not speak out because of shame and guilt,
there is a reluctance, especially by the media, to give us a voice…or at least
a sane voice.

But, in the end, I
realize it is not really any of the above reasons that cause me to hate being
called “pro life” or “anti abortion”. I hate being called those names because they
are too general. I have been touched by this war on life in a very personal way.
I have lost a son that I will not meet in this world. The name I truly want to
be called is “mom” by my unborn son Joshua. That says it all.