Reclaiming Our Children: A Blog About Healing After Abortion

Healing from an Abortion

Pride vs. Humility

From the beginning of time
humans have struggled with pride. Adam and Eve committed the sin of pride. They
thought they knew better than God and could attain all knowledge. They did not
want to need Him even though He had brought them into being and given them
every good thing.

 Judas’ sin was one of
pride…he too thought he knew better than God, and even when he found out he did
not and saw his sin, instead of humbling himself and  turning back to Jesus for forgiveness, he
fled and hanged himself.

 We all are constantly
struggling with pride. We do not like to look at our imperfections and often
take credit for the good we do. We get insulted easily. We want to be liked,
admired and praised. We are afraid of our weaknesses because we think we have
to be perfect, yet we are incapable of perfection on our own. We get in the way
of His grace because we think we know better. We trust ourselves more than we
trust God.

 I don’t know about you but I
used to look at Adam & Eve or Judas, and in my pride say “I never would
have done such a thing,” and yet, here I am having aborted life itself in the
destruction of my unborn child. One thing I know for sure, we are all capable
of any sin without Gods grace.

 But, we have become dead to
our sins, and when we finally do admit them there is often unbelief that we
could do such a thing. The reality of our sinfulness terrifies us, so we go
into denial. Putting our lives in the hands of God terrifies us as well, how
can He possibly forgive us? Many we trusted and loved led us to abortion, so
why should we trust God. We have a desperate need to be in control.

 God however, continues to
call us. He tells us it can be better. He invites us to trust in His mercy and
His healing and to top it off He lets us know it is a gift! He tells us we are
saved through faith not by anything we do. An amazing thought for many who feel
they need to make up for their abortions. We can never make up for them, or for
those who tend to want to get to a certain place before they seek God.

 Jesus instead tells us He
came to call sinners. The one of the Eucharistic prayers of Reconciliation used
at Catholic Mass, it says “when we were lost and could not find our way to You,
You loved us more than ever.”  He did not
abandon me because of my sin, He did not cast me out or refuse to love me…He
“loved me more than ever.” Even unto death on the cross. How beautiful. He died
for our sins, even our sin of abortion.

 In Ephesians 2 we are told, “Yes, it is by grace that you have been saved
through faith; it is the gift of God; it is not the result of anything you did,
so that no one has any grounds for boasting.” It is by grace that you have
been saved…not the result of anything we do…it is a GIFT. Still, “my sin is always
before me,” but there are two ways that it can exist.

 Dave
Reardon, in his book "The
Jericho Plan", states that there are two kinds of post abortive women. Those filled with humility,
or those filled with shame. The healed feel forgiven and are humble.The unhealed feel shame.

 In the scripture we hear
about the graces springing forth from his goodness to us…

And that no one has the
grounds for boasting. We are called to lay down our pride/shame and put on
humility. Shame locks us into self-hatred and guilt. But what is humility?

Some people think it is
humiliation, self-loathing, beating yourself up and letting yourself get
trammeled upon, but it is far from that.

 Humility is an honest look at
ourselves, an admittance of our dependence on God for any good. A break through
of the denial and a taking responsibility for our actions. It says through
Jesus Christ I can change, I can have a bright future and a new life. I can
have love, and not just any love, but a profound love in Jesus

 Both speak to my sin of
abortion. One before my healing and one after:

 In scripture we have the 2
examples of this.

First, the woman caught in
adultery (

John

8:1-11)

 while Jesus went to the Mount of Olives . ¹

But early in the morning he arrived again in the
temple area, and all the people started coming to him, and he sat down and
taught them.

Then the scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who
had been caught in adultery and made her stand in the middle.

They said to him, "Teacher, this woman was caught
in the very act of committing adultery.

Now in the law, Moses commanded us to stone such
women. ²
So what do you say?"

They said this to test him, so that they could have
some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and began to write on the
ground with his finger. ³

But when they continued asking him, he straightened up
and said to them, "Let the one among you who is without sin be the first
to throw a stone at her."

Again he bent down and wrote on the ground.

And in response, they went away one by one, beginning
with the elders. So he was left alone with the woman before him.

Then Jesus straightened up and said to her,
"Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"

She replied, "No one, sir." Then Jesus said,
"Neither do I condemn you. Go, (and) from now on do not sin any more."

This woman is:

·        
is full of shame,
anxiety and fear

·        
fears the
judgment of others who have dragged her into the In her eyes no one is worse
than she is

·        
feels unworthy,
abandoned and alone & unlovable

·        
may be stuck in
not believing she ever could get into such a sin

·        
may be justifying
her behavior

·        
Does not know
Jesus yet

Her focus is self
centered.

Secondly,
we look at the Woman who washes the feet of Jesus

Luke
7:37-50

A Pharisee invited him to dine with him, and he
entered the Pharisee's house and reclined at table.

Now there was a sinful woman in the city who learned
that he was at table in the house of the Pharisee. Bringing an alabaster flask
of ointment, she stood behind him at his feet weeping and began to bathe his
feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them, and
anointed them with the ointment.

When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this he said
to himself, "If this man were a prophet, he would know who and what sort
of woman this is who is touching him, that she is a sinner."

Jesus said to him in reply, "Simon, I have
something to say to you." "Tell me, teacher," he said.

"Two people were in debt to a certain creditor;
one owed five hundred days' wages and the other owed fifty.

Since they were unable to repay the debt, he forgave
it for both. Which of them will love him more?"

Simon said in reply, "The one, I suppose, whose
larger debt was forgiven." He said to him, "You have judged
rightly."

Then he turned to the woman and said to Simon,
"Do you see this woman? When I entered your house, you did not give me
water for my feet, but she has bathed them with her tears and wiped them with
her hair.

You did not give me a kiss, but she has not ceased
kissing my feet since the time I entered.

You did not anoint my head with oil, but she anointed
my feet with ointment.

So I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven;
hence, she has shown great love. ¹³
But the one to whom little is forgiven, loves little."

He said to her, "Your sins are forgiven."

The others at table said to themselves, "Who is
this who even forgives sins?"

But he said to the woman, "Your faith has saved
you; go in peace."

This
woman

·        
Is uninvited and
also scorned, but she does not fear speaking

·        
She knows she has
sinned

·        
She knows what
she has done is wrong but she has hope

·        
She knows Jesus
has given her forgiveness and a new life

·        
She knows she
cannot make up for her sin but most importantly she knows the love of Jesus

·        
She knows (and is
not surprised) by the realization that she is capable of any sin

·        
She is giving and
has empathy towards others

·        
It is not about her
anymore but about what He has done for her

Her focus is Christ
centered.

The
difference between them? The woman who was stoned did not know Jesus yet,

The
other knows Jesus has given her a new life, she is Christ centered, all she
cares about is serving Jesus and letting others know what he has done for her.

 Chances are, most of us are
in the middle of the two, getting to know Jesus and beginning to trust.

Pope

John

Paul II tells those post abortive, in “The Gospel of Life,” that we should look
at what happened and face it honestly; it was and always will be terribly wrong,
but “do not give in to discouragement, do not loose hope”, but look at the many
influences and to come to know the Father of Mercies and the wound in your
heart can heal.

 By acknowledging what we did,
we are free to ask forgiveness from God, our children and ourselves. With
humility comes trust in God and His promises, a little at a time. It is not
about our feeling but about our will and actions. God understands if we are
afraid. Trust in His love that saves and heals us. Trust in his love that
drives out fear, shame and guilt and brings peace.

 Humility acknowledges our
dependence on him. Trusts Him with our lives. Humility allows us to surrender
to Him knowing of His love for us and His desire to heal us. It is centering on
Him instead of us. A knowing we cannot do it without Him. A struggle to be
sure, a reconditioning of everything we have probably been doing, a fierce
fight against what we have known and against our pride, but, you can begin
right now. You can choose to trust despite your feelings. He will not let you
down.

 I would like to end with is a
beautiful verse on humility:

 “Humility is the fertile soil upon which the Divine
Sower plants his seed”

 May it flourish in our
hearts.