Reclaiming Our Children: A Blog About Healing After Abortion

I can always remember thinking as a kid that I never
would have betrayed Jesus like Judas had done. I couldn’t understand why he had
made the wrong choice. It seemed so obvious.

 Now, years later and hopefully wiser, I see that I am
not so different than Judas. He thought he knew better than
Jesus.

 Instead of trusting in the love Jesus had for him and
believing Jesus had his best interest at heart, he took the situation on
himself. Jesus was not doing things his way. The Scribes and Pharisees were
looking for someone to sell Jesus out and Judas fell right into their hands,
betraying Jesus for 30 pieces of silver.

 After the arrest,  Judas felt instant remorse . The
light went on and he realized what a grave mistake he had made. He realized he
had sinned “betraying innocent life”. Judas returned to the Scribes and
Pharisees and gave them back the 30 pieces of silver, but they wanted no part of
him anymore. They had accomplished what they had set out to do and now told him
in his despair “what do we care about that…it is your
business”.

 If Judas had gone to Jesus even then, if he had asked
forgiveness and trusted in his love and mercy things would have turned out
differently for him. Jesus no doubt would have forgiven him and we probably
would be reading his books in the bible speaking about the unfathomable merciful
love of Jesus had shown him. But Judas did not do that; instead he gave in to
his despair. His pride held him back, his continued lack of trust, and instead
of admitting what he had done was wrong, he instead hanged
himself.

 When I think of my abortion I realize I too sold Jesus
out. Even though I never wanted the abortion, I did not trust in the love and
mercy of God or His divine providence enough to know he would have taken care of
my child and me. I decided to give in to pressure, to trust that others knew
better than God, and I allowed my abortion to
happen.

 The Scribes and Pharisees are not unlike our society
today. Once my abortion was accomplished the chant of society seems to be “what
is that to us…it is your business” leaving me feeling once again as I did before
my abortion, that no one cares enough to listen or support my
feelings.

 I am not alone. There are thousand upon thousands of
women experiencing the same feelings. More often than not, pressured into
abortion by husbands, boyfriends, friends or family, they are left to grieve
alone. Ashamed and despairing their voice goes unheard in the abortion
debate.

Today, as we continue on the road to Calvary may we each have the grace to see ourselves in
the people we will meet, and the humility to turn to Jesus in our failures,
knowing His mercy for us!