Reclaiming Our Children: A Blog About Healing After Abortion

For
many members of the Notre Dame Class of 2009, the uproar surrounding
the university’s decision to honor Barack Obama with this year’s
commencement address, and to bestow on him a doctorate of laws, has
provoked strong feelings about what the ensuing conflict will mean for
their graduation.

I know how they feel. Ten years ago, my heart was filled with
similar conflicts as we came closer to the day of my own Notre Dame
commencement and my commissioning as an officer in the United States
Army.

You see, I was three months pregnant.

That March, I had gone—alone—to a local woman’s clinic to take a
test. The results were positive, and I was so numb I almost didn’t
grasp what the nurse was getting at when she assured me I had “other
options.” What did “other options” mean? And what kind of world is it
that defines compassion as telling a young woman who has just learned
she is carrying life inside her that she has the option to destroy it?

When I returned to campus, I ran to the Grotto. I was confused and
full of conflicting emotions. But I knew this: No amount of shame or
embarrassment would ever lead me to get rid of my baby. Of all women,
Our Lady could surely feel pity for an unplanned pregnancy. I recalled
her surrendered love to God’s invitation to become the home of the
Incarnate Word. “Let it be done to me according to thy word,” she had
said. In my hour of need, on my knees, I asked Mary for courage and
strength. And she did not disappoint.

My boyfriend was a different story. He was also a Notre Dame senior.
When I told him that he was to be a father, he tried to pressure me
into having an abortion. Like so many women in similar circumstances, I
found out the kind of man the father of my child was at precisely the
moment I needed him most. “All that talk about abortion is just
dining-room talk,” he said. “When it’s really you in the situation,
it’s different. I will drive you to Chicago and pay for a good doctor.”

I tried telling him this was not an option. He said he was
pro-choice. I responded by informing him that my choice was life. And I
learned, as so many pregnant women have before and since, that life is
the one choice that pro-choicers won’t support.

Still, I count myself lucky. I was raised by a mom and dad who
marched for life—and who walked the walk when I needed them. However
much I may not have wanted to embarrass them with my pregnancy, amid my
troubles I always knew I had a priceless gift: a family that would
welcome into their hearts the life that God had put in my womb.

I also had the advantage of a good and loving friend, Sara, who
reminded me that her mom was a counselor at the Women’s Care Center in
South Bend. It was this Women’s Care Center that provided me with the
encouragement that everything was going to be all right. They educated
me on my pregnancy, and they provided me with information on how to
stay healthy.

So, without my boyfriend’s support, I graduated from Notre Dame on
schedule with a bachelor’s degree in American Studies. I earned my ROTC
commission as a second lieutenant in the U.S. Army. I returned to my
parents’ home in Florida, having been granted a delay from active duty.
I sought and received advice and loving counsel from Kimberly Home, a
pregnancy resource center in my hometown. And I prepared to give birth
to the human being who has given me the greatest and most unexpected
joy in my life.

Because I was to be an unmarried mom (in the Army no less), I felt
compelled at least to research adoption through Catholic Charities. A
counselor at Kimberly Home guided me through the decision process and
provided me with referrals. Kimberly Home connected me with other women
of unplanned pregnancies who had gone through closed as well as open
adoptions. It was helpful and caring.

After much prayer, I came to terms with the fact that this baby was
a gift I had already chosen to accept. With the support of my family, I
would make it work. Through the State of Florida Child Support
Enforcement Agency, I obtained a court order for my daughter to receive
child support from her father.

And then a miracle came: On All Saints Day 1999, I gave birth to
baby Mary. Her name is no accident. This Mary was living inside me
while I walked the campus of a university dedicated to a woman who is
mother of us all, and it was Mary Our Mother who gave me courage when I
was afraid of what would lie ahead. Mary teaches us always to be open
to seeking the will of God in our lives, no matter what it is, and
never to be afraid of God’s will. God’s will may contain suffering, but
God’s will also brings peace and joy. When we place ourselves at God’s
disposal, he will do great things for us.

Those great things included the precious moment when my father came
to meet his granddaughter on that glorious day she was born. He took
one look at Mary in my arms and said to me, “This is your gift for
making the right decision.” At that moment, I realized my little girl
and I would be forever blessed.

Notre Dame is a special place, but it is not immune to the realities
of modern life. There are students who face unplanned pregnancies,
and—most tragically—women who think their only option is abortion.
Statistics show that one out of every five women who have an abortion
is a college student; many of these women cite the fear that they will
not be able to complete their education as a primary reason. On
campuses all across this country, abortion is the status quo. We need
to change that with an unambiguous stand for life, and Notre Dame needs
to be in the lead.

There have been many things written about the honors to be extended
to President Obama. I’d like to ask this of Fr. John Jenkins, the Notre
Dame president: Who draws support from your decision to honor President
Obama—the young, pregnant Notre Dame woman sitting in that graduating
class who wants desperately to keep her baby, or the Notre Dame man who
believes that the Catholic teaching on the intrinsic evil of abortion
is just dining-room talk?

Lacy Dodd is a member of the Notre Dame Class of 1999 and a
proud mother. She also serves on the board of Room at the Inn, a
Charlotte-based nonprofit now working to build at Belmont Abbey
America’s first campus-based maternal care facility for pregnant
college students.