Reclaiming Our Children: A Blog About Healing After Abortion

"I guarantee you that abortion,
and whether you be pro-life or pro-choice, is one of the unspoken
issues. It's the elephant in the room, and everybody is dancing around
it because nobody wants to say it publicly." Rush Limbaugh

How true is that! Not only in politics but in families. It is the big secret everyone may even know is there, but no one addresses it. And as a nation it would horrifying to admit what we have been doing…but it is there and people know it is there..affecting our families, nation and the world…

here is an article I wrote on this very subject a couple of years ago.

The Monster in the
Room

 There are not too many of us who did not have the experience
of being frightened as a child thinking there were monsters under our beds or
in our closets.

 My parents always used to leave my bedroom door ajar when I
was little. I can still remember the fright I felt thinking a monster was under
my bed, or in the hallway about to barge into my room to devour me. I
ultimately would tell my parents about my fears and they would assure me he
wasn’t really present as we checked out each space to my satisfaction until I
felt safe enough to go to sleep.

 Years later, the presence of another monster began living in
my family. This time we all knew he was real and there, but no one spoke about
him. We all felt his presence. NO matter how much we tried to ignore him, he
affected each of our lives, but we stayed in denial as if that would make him
less real or make him give up and go away.

 Unlike my childhood days, there was no talk to alleviate the
fears, and the safety I once felt within family was no longer present. In fact,
being with my family became the place where I felt most threatened and most
unlike myself. I could not believe, in spite of his huge presence, we all acted
as if he did not exist. Was I the only one seeing? Was I crazy because he upset
me? Did it really not bother them? We lived a facade of closeness. In reality my
family did not know me or what was going on in me for years. The monster of
abortion does that in families

 The monster, was the saline abortion I was forced to undergo
by my parents when I was just a teen. The abandonment, and isolation I felt at
the time of the procedure carried into our relationship on a permanent level.
For years I suffered what many post abortive women and men suffer from, fear,
guilt, shame, anxiety and panic attacks, suicidal ideation and the forever
implanted image of my unborn son who died from my saline abortion.The fears,
anxiety and shame lived with me for years. I picked a spouse poorly …you pick
what you think you deserve…for me that meant abuse. Each subsequent pregnancy I
experienced brought with it a terror, but of course, I never spoke of it.  Years later I found out my mom experienced
that same terror when I was pregnant. What should have been a joyful time was
filled with fear and dread, knowing God was going to get me back now by having
something wrong with my baby.

 After years of suffering and living with this monster of a
past abortion, that controlled my life, I decided to confront my fears.. I
refused to live in denial anymore, and although I did not directly confront my
family, they were very aware that I was now speaking out and working to expose
this hidden “monster” in families that is abortion.

 In the past fifteen years that I have been doing this work,
I have seen its destruction in many families. The parents who know their
daughter has changed but do not know why. The husband and wife relationship
that has taken the form of strangers. The teenager who knows her mothers
secret, is desperate to help, but afraid to let her know she knows. The sibling
who feels guilty for being alive.  The
father mourning the loss of a child he did not even know he had until it was
too late. The list can go on and on.

 Over the last fifteen years many new ministries and outreach
programs are being formed to help those suffering from a past abortion.

More people are confronting the impact abortion has had on
families and society.

 It took over thirty years, but the monster of my abortion
was finally addressed in my family, even with my children who came many years
after. It took time, and healing for everyone, but we finally chased him out of
our heads and hearts.