Reclaiming Our Children: A Blog About Healing After Abortion

"So,
do not worry if everything is falling to pieces before you. After all, only
your illusions that separate you from the One and Only Love, who desires to fix
everything, are crumbling to pieces."

(The
Two Pillars; SC Beila)

 “An illusion is a
distortion of the senses… While illusions distort reality, they are generally
shared by most people.”

 Life
is full of illusions- we can look at people in situations that are, in reality
very different from what they seem…

·       
The wife whose husband is cheating and she does not know has the”illusion” of a
happy marriage

·       
The person driving a BMW who is in major debt carries the “illusion” of being
rich

·       
The woman working for pp who is post abortive and in denial portrays the “illusion”
of having her abortion be fine with her

·       
The post abortive woman who goes through life seeming fine while dying on the
inside.  

I
read a review on a book written by the girl who was Bob Dylan’s gf when he was
rising to fame. She could not handle the way things changed..she found after a
time it was time to end the relationship even though they “loved each other
very much” But not before an abortion and emotional breakdown shattered her. In
truth, they probably did not know how to love and breakup was most likely more
to do with the abortion than anything else.

We
don’t know – our illusions separate us from the truth, which is Jesus Christ.

JC
who is the only truth. Hard to admit/accept or even wrap our mind around. Our
pride , our “self” rejects the thought.

 When
I really began to pray about this, it seemed to me that much of life is a
illusion and that I cling to many of them in my attempt to be something I am
not. This was very interesting in thinking of illusions in relation to my life
and specifically abortion, my abortion.  "So, do not worry if
everything is falling to pieces before you’ …Much easier said then done. My
natural impulse when all seems to be falling apart is to panic, to feel as
though my security is threatened.  I then work hard to create another
illusion so that I think I am secure.  I guess it is a lot like dealing
with addiction..everyone enables to give a false sense of everything being
ok..it is only when the addict hits bottom, admits the truth, and turns to a higher
power, that there is any chance of lasting sobriety. Not much different than
dealing with our abortions.Failure to create illusions is actually a great
grace although in our humanness it is scary. my nature hates it…. But I realize
that it is these precise times, when I am most in need and know cannot do it
without the help of God, that I actually live in the truth and draw closer to
Christ..I recognize my helplessness and great need for Him and the fraility of
my self made“security”.   I cannot remember a time when I felt more like
“everything was falling to pieces” as I did after my abortion. I was desperate
and shattered….I felt like life could never be ok again.  I know there
were many times when I felt like I was not making any progress in my healing.
Each time an old issue showed up I felt as though I was moving backwards
instead of forward. In temptations to despair The difference from what we
believe or “feel” and what is-   Our illusions create a false security. As
many of you know, a good friend of mine Fr Michael Sepp is died of cancer. One
of the things he said to me when he first found out was…nothing was different
from the day before when he thought he was feeling better and everything was
fine, then he go the results of the tests…and reality took hold…everything
changed. Then, he was living in truth and recognized the false security we live
in.  

Arise
from Darkness (Fr Benedict Grieschel)

If you are struggling with fear,
anxiety, grief, loss of loved ones, hurt, anger or anything that makes life
difficult or the road through it dark, then this book was written for you. Fr.
Benedict offers practical suggestions on how to keep going and even grow with
the help of God's grace, even when this help seems remote. The Christian
response to the problem of evil and suffering began with the cross of Christ.
Our answer is inseparable from the cross-from Jesus' own encounter with evil
and his triumph over it. In this light, Fr. Benedict recalls some of our most
frequently encountered sorrows and griefs: the failure of friends, financial
and personal insecurity, the failure of some in the Church, our own
inconsistent behaviors and weaknesses, and the death of loved ones. As we
examine these painful experiences, he shows that we can find solutions in the
Gospel and in the lives of saints, heroes, and very brave ordinary people.

 There
is no “getting there” in this life…if we think we are there, it is the biggest
illusion…truth would tell us we are not even close to being there. Life is a
constant process of me clinging to my illusions and with Gods grace letting
them go….of pulling ourselves back  to live in the Presence of Christ, the
only truth.