Some great info from the Elliot Institute
The Elliot Institute
News
From
the Leader in Post-Abortion Research
Vol. 9, No. 7
— June 7, 2010
Visit
Us Online: www.AfterAbortion.org
The
UnChoice Campaign: TheUnChoice.com
Read Back Issues
of This E-Newsletter
Special Edition on Men and Abortion
This month we
celebrate Father's Day in the United States. On a day we celebrate, honor and
remember our fathers, there will be many men who will be forgotten, overlooked
or silently grieving: men who have been involved in or lost a child to
abortion.
While
researchers and mental health professionals are beginning to understand the many
ways in which abortion exploits and harms women, the field of research and
outreach to men hurt by abortion is only beginning to be explored. This special
edition of the Elliot Institute News looks at some of the available research and
offers insights from those who work with men and men who have been there. You'll
also find an invitation at the end of this email to join in our Father's Day
Outreach to men who are struggling after abortion.
Forgotten Fathers and
Their Unforgettable
Children
In the early
1970s, Arthur Shostak accompanied his partner to a well-groomed suburban
abortion clinic. They had both agreed abortion was best. But sitting in the
waiting room proved to be a "bruising experience." By the time he left the
clinic, he was shocked by about how deeply disturbed he had become.
A professor of
sociology at Drexel University in Philadelphia, Shostak spent the subsequent ten
years studying the abortion experience of men. His study included a survey of
1,000 men who accompanied their wives or girlfriends to abortion
clinics.
Shostak's
study was published in a book, Men and Abortion: Lessons, Losses and
Love, in 1984. The value of this study is limited to reporting mostly the
short term reactions of men to the pregnancy and the decision to abort. In
addition, because of the selection process, this study did not reflect the
attitudes or experiences of men who did not accompany their partners to the
abortion clinic–which could be because they were unaware of the pregnancy and
abortion, because they were casual or unsupportive partners, or because they
were opposed to the abortion. Despite these significant limitations, Shostak's
study, using the largest group of men ever surveyed about their abortions, is
still the benchmark study in this understudied field.
Shostak
reported that the majority of the men surveyed in clinic waiting rooms felt
isolated, angry at their partners or themselves, and were concerned about the
physical and emotional damage abortion might cause their partner.
~~~
Learn
more: Read about the latest
study on abortion's impact on men's relationships.
When people think about the role of men in abortion, it
seems that they usually think about the stereotype of the man who forces the
abortion or the male who abandons. However, there are many roles the man may
have played in the experience. One man may have been involved in several
abortions, each with a different scenario. The impact on fathers is mitigated by
the role they play in the abortion. They fall into separate
categories.
If you are a caregiver, you need to know that sometimes the
man makes contact with a caregiver under the guise of seeking help for his
partner or trying to understand what his partner is experiencing. If he is
looking for materials about the aftermath of abortion, ask if this is for
himself or for a partner. If it is for a partner, you can ask, "Are you the
father?"
This is hard for him to discuss, but it is critical to
acknowledge that men can struggle after an abortion loss. You can ask, "How can
I be of help to you?" You may also be able to ask at some point if this is his
first abortion experience. Listening to him can be an enormous gift.
A
man can come to recognize that an abortion experience touched him in many
different ways. Each man has his own unique story but there seem to be some
common elements.
~~~
Learn
More: Visit our men and abortion page for
articles, personal stories and links to resources.
Post-Abortion Trauma in Men
Still
Overlooked
Catherine Coyle,
Ph.D.
[More than
thirty] years have passed since the legalization of abortion in the United
States. In those years, numerous studies have documented the potential negative
effects of abortion on women. The effects of abortion on men however have been
largely ignored by both the scientific community and American
society.
The few
published studies concerning men suggest that, like women, men may experience
grief,1 anxiety, guilt, helplessness,2 and
anger.3 The fact that men tend to repress their emotions may also
make it more difficult for them to resolve their grief.4
Even men who
support their partner's abortion may experience ambivalent feelings such as
relief along with anxiety, anguish, grief, and guilt.5 About half of
the men interviewed by these authors reported that one year after the abortion
occurred, they still had frequent (monthly) thoughts about
it.6
~~~
Learn
more: Visit the Thomas W. Strahan Memorial Library at www.abortionrisks.org for a
bibliography of additional studies on men and abortion.
"That Day Ripped My Gut
Out"
One Man's
Story of Abortion
For every
woman who has had an abortion a man has been involved. For me it was two
abortions.
I think that
because we live in such a visual world where we can't see the baby from
conception, it just doesn't seem real. I know this may seem like a simple
analogy, but … we cannot see corn that was just planted; yet, that doesn't
make it any less a vegetable.
My story
begins at 16 when I heard that first "I'm pregnant" from my
girlfriend.
~~~
Reprinted with
permission from the Fatherhood Forever web site, www.fatherhoodforever.org.
Additional Resources on
Abortion's Impact on
Men
Free
Resources
Additional articles and
research on men and abortion
Healing
Resources
Links to groups offering
counseling and support after abortion
Entering Canaan Days of Prayer and Renewal
for men, sponsored by Lumina post-abortion healing ministry and the
Franciscan Friars of the Renewal, are held several times a year in New
York City. These retreats are for men who have been involved in an
abortion and/or whose spouse has had an abortion. For information on
upcoming retreats, visit www.postabortionhelp.org.
Our next dates are:
October 9, 2010
May 7, 2011
Reclaiming Our Children: A Blog About Healing After Abortion 
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