…I think we can settle that debate in about 100 words. Here is an excerpt from an article in Real Simple magazine’s Expertise section, called 10 Truths I Wish I’d Known Sooner. Truth #3 is:

Sex always gives you an answer, although not necessarily the one you want. It’s possible to have very good sex, a few times, with a person who shouldn’t be in your life at all. Have fun, and hide your wallet and your BlackBerry. On the other hand, it’s unlikely that a grown man, however nice, will become much, much better in bed than he was the first five times you slept with him. And if you sleep with a man who is unkind to you, there will be more of that; long after the sex is humdrum, the cruelty will be vivid. [emphasis mine]

I’m only picking on this particular piece because the author summarized her point so concisely. This message that “it’s possible to have very good sex, a few times, with a person who shouldn’t be in your life at all” is all over women’s magazines. You would be hard pressed to find an issue of Cosmo or Marie Claire that doesn’t have that idea in it somewhere. And yet if you were to ask these same advice-givers if it is a good idea to plan to have a child with a man who has a lot of bad stuff going on, they would undoubtedly say no.

This worldview accepts both of the following statements as true:

1. It is okay to have sex with a man who might steal your wallet

2. It is not okay to have a baby with a man who might steal your wallet