The day I tried to take my life to make the pain of my abortion go away
by Jewels Green
Editor’s Note: This is Part One of a series on post-abortion recovery. Jewels Green is a post-abortive mother of three who worked in an abortion clinic before becoming pro-life. Read her original testimony here and her other articles here and watch for the next installment in this series of post-abortion pain and recovery, “Abortion Hurts, Part 2: The Psychiatric Hospital” coming soon.
December 9, 2011 (LiveAction.org) – What does it feel like to hurt yourself … on purpose? What is like when the switch clicks in your brain and the hand raises, then lowers, the blade over your own skin? Does it feel right? Does it feel crazy (like it should)? Does it feel… better? The moment just before contact, when the anticipation of release is tantalizingly palpable — and you could stop, but don’t — what compels the hand to continue? What does it feel like when cold, hard, sharp, smooth metal makes contact with warm, pulsing, soft, fragile flesh?
I can tell you. For me, it felt right. It felt better. And it did not feel crazy (like it should).
I was a quick-cutter. I would slice, slice, slice in short, rapid strokes, getting deeper with each cut. Each cut brought me incrementally closer to calm, to control. I almost always knew when to stop — I didn’t want to need stitches (because that would mean exposure), and most times I didn’t want to bleed to death. I wanted release. Release from uncontrollable, insurmountable emotional turmoil. Transforming my storm of inner pain and anguish into visible, tangible, physical sensation mitigated it (somewhat).
the rst is here: http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/the-day-i-tried-to-take-my-life-to-make-the-pain-of-my-abortion-go-away/
Reclaiming Our Children: A Blog About Healing After Abortion 
Leave a comment