"Yet if someone had told me then: ‘This is your only chance to be a mother — it’s now or never’, I suspect that between us, my mother and I would have made a fair fist of raising the child. Now, at the age of 42, it is the ‘if only I had known’ that haunts me. The idea that I passed up my only chance to have a child. If I dwell on this thought, it is disturbing, so I try to avoid it."
Very sad story about having had an abortion as a teen and never being able to have other children. So much in this testimony,including continued rationalization and denial in spite of the fact that her abortion has obviously impacted her entire life.
Pray for her…
I'm childless at 42 and haunted by the baby I aborted at 18
By KATE SPICER
PUBLISHED: 16:34 EST, 25 April 2012 | UPDATED: 04:54 EST, 26 April 2012
Regrets: Kate Spicer wonders if she should have become a teen mum instead of aborting her baby
Setting out from my home in sleepy Devon, I catch the bus into the nearest big town, where none of the chemists know my family, and buy two expensive pregnancy tests.
It’s the summer holidays after I’ve left school and perhaps my periods have stopped because I’ve been anxious about my A-level results. Or perhaps not.
My suspicions that I am pregnant go beyond a missed period: I feel queasy in the mornings.
The pregnancy tests are positive. I run a deep bath, as hot as I can stand it, and drink neat gin until I am sick.
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2135145/Im-childless-42-haunted-baby-I-aborted-18.html#ixzz1tAN2hrzQ
Reclaiming Our Children: A Blog About Healing After Abortion 
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