Reclaiming Our Children: A Blog About Healing After Abortion

I am always left feeling confused when I read an article like this one written by Renee Sherman and posted on Exhales blog, "Coming Out of My Closet".

I guess I still do not understand what they are trying to accomplish. At first look, I actually feel like I agree with what she is saying, after all, which of us post abortive women did not desire compassion and understanding? Which one of us did not feel "very alone"? How many of us avoided admitting what we had done, even to ourselves? But at a closer glance it is not hard to see, that in fact, we are on total opposite sides of the spectrum.

Renee,like all of us post abortive people, yearns for acceptance.A true acceptance, and understanding. Just reading what she wrote about this pastor after having given her witness conveys that:

"After I spoke, a pastor came up to me and said that he did not support abortion. He said it was wrong. My heart stopped and I thought, “Breathe, his words won’t hurt you.” Then he continued, “I never thought about the women having abortions, just abortion itself. You showed me that women going through a tough experience deserve respect and support, whether I agree or not. I’m going to take that lesson back to my church.” I cried. I never thought that I would be able to impact someone like that.

While I certainly can understand her relief that the pastor understood why she had done what she did, and I am  happy he learned by listening to her, and that he felt compassion, it does not make the taking the life of her child any less wrong. I do not believe we feel shame or guilt because of others. I believe we feel shame and guilt because it is not natural for a mom to participate in the taking of the life of her unborn child. We feel shame because it is wrong.

Certainly, people can understand why a woman would feel like they had to abort,(and if they don;t they should be grateful that they were never in the position) but it does not make the act of abortion any less wrong. We can understand why someone who was sexually abused may then abuse others, but that does  make their action right? Of course not !

Pope John Paul II said it best in the Gospel of Life…"I would now like to say a special word to women who have had an abortion. The Church is aware of the many factors which may have influenced your decision, and she does not doubt that in many cases it was a painful and even shattering decision. The wound in your heart may not yet have healed. Certainly what happened was and remains terribly wrong. But do not give in to discouragement and do not lose hope. Try rather to understand what happened and face it honestly. If you have not already done so, give yourselves over with humility and trust to repentance. The Father of mercies is ready to give you his forgiveness and his peace in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. To the same Father and his mercy you can with sure hope entrust your child. With the friendly and expert help and advice of other people, and as a result of your own painful experience, you can be among the most eloquent defenders of everyone's right to life. Through your commitment to life, whether by accepting the birth of other children or by welcoming and caring for those most in need of someone to be close to them, you will become promoters of a new way of looking at human life."

Yes, it is good for us to share our stories and to be a support for one another. It  is good to show compassion and understanding of why someone felt they had to abort. But the taking of a life is never right .Unless we admit that, the stigma and shame of abortion will not go away  and coming out of the closet and "joining our sisters in the sun" will just cause us to get burnt! Instead we must join our sister with the SON, Jesus Christ. In doing so, shame and guilt go away because we know , and accept the love, forgiveness and mercy He gives!