So, I have been doing some praying lately trying to discern if I have a problem with the issue of control and authority. If I am honest with myself, I must admit, at times yes, but that is not necessarily a bad thing.
It is something I have thought of before, questioned myself, and sought direction about.I know I have a "thing" because my dad controlled me, coercing me into having my abortion, but when I look at other areas in my life I seem to have no real problem.
I do not always like it, but I obey my spirtual director. I totally trust that he wants what is best for my soul. It is not always easy, but I listen to what he says.
I definitely listen and obey other authorities in my life like the many wonderful people I work with, or friends who help me with the ministry.
Where my problem seems to come in is when I feel someone is asking me to go against my principles and beliefs. I am sure in some ways it is abortion related..I went against my principles and beliefs to listen to my dad, control, for sure, is an abortion trigger. But in the end, there is a difference between a control that respects you as a person and one which is self seeking. I am grateful to God that I won't go against my beliefs anymore.
I guess with my director, etc, I trust him enough to know he would never ask me to do that, so when I have a struggle it is more of a challenge of fear or an unknowing versus going against what I hold in my heart.
When control is used for personal gain versus taking the consideration, beliefs and feelings of the person you are dealing with in mind, it is an injustice. It breaks a part of the persons spirit. Sure there are times when discussions are necessary and fears addressed, but we should never make someone go against their core for our personal agenda.
Having trust in God and praying daily keeps us in tune, day by day, minute by minute with His will for us. In the end if that is what we are following, no matter what happens all will be well.
Reclaiming Our Children: A Blog About Healing After Abortion 
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