Reclaiming Our Children: A Blog About Healing After Abortion

reprint from Summer 2007 Lumina Newsletter

Removing the Stigma of Abortion

Stigma: a mark of shame or discredit

Shame: painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt, shortcoming,
or impropriety; something to be regretted

 I am a post abortive woman.
For many years I suffered from the guilt and shame of my abortion, and lived in
the fear of being “found out”…it was paralyzing!

 Now, years later, I have been
freed from the human shame of abortion, not because it is something I have
forgotten or do not regret, but precisely because I have acknowledged my
sinfulness…the complete horror of the act of killing my unborn child, and the
fact that I deserve hell because of it. 
I have now walked through the guilt and shame into the arms of
Jesus.  If we go before God in truth, the
truth will set us free. I have placed my focus on Jesus and what He has done
for me. Instead of hiding from my sinfulness I have admitted what is true…we
are all sinners in need of Gods mercy.

 Lately, we have been hearing
a lot about removing the stigma of abortion. The pro choice side has made
several attempts at creating an environment where women would feel comfortable
with the fact that they have taken the life of their unborn children. They
unceasingly try to prove there is nothing such as “post abortion syndrome”. They
continue to strive to make abortion a “normal” experience of life. We have seen
“I had an Abortion” tee-shirts, web sites toting “I’m Not Sorry” and a number
of blogs to argue the point that not all women regret abortion, thus it should
not be challenged, but remain “safe and legal”. Recently, a series of e-post
cards were placed on the Exhale post abortion referral site, in an attempt to
de stigmatize abortion.

 On the pro life side there
also is a continued struggle for a balance between the horror of abortion and
compassion for the sinner. At one time, (and in some places this is still true)
there is a fear to show compassion for fear that women will think abortion is
acceptable. On the other side, there is sometimes so much compassion, the
seriousness of the sin seems to be forgotten. Like the pro choice side, a
series of e-cards for those who have had an abortion are available through Life
Issues Institute, a wonderful group whose good works are numerous, but whose
post abortion cards leave me with much the same feelings as Exhales.

 Here are the “sayings” from both
organizations…see if you can guess which are which:

 1.   “On those days that grief and sorrow are
constant companions, know that I love you and hold you in my prayers.”

 2.   “I want you to know that I care about you
and how you are feeling.. My thoughts are   with you”

 3.   “I
pray God will grant you peace and healing after the loss of your child.”

 4.   “The promise of God is to be with us in all
our transitions. God will never leave you or forsake you. May you find comfort
in God’s constant love. Know that my prayers are with you at this time.”

 5.   “Healing
is possible. May you find peace after your abortion.”

 6.   “May
you Find Comfort in God’s Constant love.”

 Tough to distinguish isn’t
it? I personally find both sets of these cards offensive. Neither addresses the
responsibility of the woman, who ultimately, no matter what the pressures or
circumstances, gave in to abortion. By denying her role in the abortion
decision, no matter how small it may have been, we continue to feed into the
denial and attempt to make abortion a “normal” experience of life. She knows
this is not true, and I believe, we do her a great disservice. All the
tee-shirts, web sites and e-cards in the world can never make abortion “normal”.
Women, inherently, know this.

 In human terms, nothing can
alleviate the pain of abortion or take away its stigma. In truth, they need to
be brought to Christ’s love, where they can obtain the courage to look at their
abortion in the light of His great love for them. It is there, at the foot of
the cross, where they can begin to look at their abortion experience in truth. Abortion
is always wrong.

 While at the cross, they will
come to internalize His love and the sacrifice of the Cross, learn to
understand what happened, ask forgiveness from their children, and forgive
others including themselves.

 I do not believe there can
ever be a fitting card for abortion. I personally think this is a good thing…no
human can erase the stigma or the shame. Would we want them too? If they could,
the severity of the act would be diminished and abortion would be “normal”. It
is Christ alone, who can heal those post abortive. To remove the stigma of
abortion we need to embrace the stigma of the cross, surrender to the Mercy of
our God who died for our sins, even the sin of abortion, and rise with Him
through His Resurrection. He is the way, the truth and the life and only He can
do it!

 Answers to quotes:

(1.Life Issues, 2.
Exhale,  3. Life Issues, 4. Exhale, 5.
Exhale, 6. Life Issues)