Reclaiming Our Children: A Blog About Healing After Abortion

"Tis
but thy name that is my enemy. What's in a name? That which we will call a
rose. By any other word would smell as sweet."

So goes the dialog in
the famous balcony scene of Shakespeare’s Romeo & Juliet. I think of that
scene when I am aware of how much I do not like to be referred to as “pro life”
or “anti abortion.”.  I
have tried to make sense of my aversion, especially since, after all, I am 100%
pro life.

Perhaps
it comes from my frustration in being a post abortive woman.  I have always felt to some degree or another
“stuck” in the middle of the debate, not because of the issue of life itself,
but because of the understanding, or lack of understanding, there seems to be on
both sides about those who are post abortive.

 Don’t
get me wrong it has improved greatly and continues to improve, and I certainly
do not blame anyone…how would anyone know? It has been such a deep, dark , secret
of shame that no one spoke of for years and years, so, it is not frustration at
people, but the issue in general.

 It
may be because article upon article from the main stream media portrays a plot
by the “anti-abortioners” in making it seem
like abortion hurts women. The new head of the American Psychiatric
Association, Nada Stotland, is a feminist who is also on the board of Physicians for
Reproductive Health and Choice. In a recent article on Medical News Today, Stotland
says abortion is one of the most common surgeries in the U.S., and,
according to the Times,
physicians have not seen an epidemic of trauma in women or men. Antiabortion
groups have "succeeded in convincing the American public" that
abortion harms women.

 You
get the picture.

I
have to wonder if Stotland has been under a rock, since in recent years more
and more women and men are speaking out about the harm abortion has done to
them. Not “anti abortion” people, but “post abortive” women and men.  Those directly involved.

 My
aversion may also be because in some pro life circles we are still condemned by
those who do not chose to understand why abortion happens. They condemn the
sinner instead of the sin without even knowing the circumstances surrounding
the personal abortion. Not that it is ever right, abortion i s never right, but
we can certainly understand how it can come to be. We are also told they are
“saving babies” when many times we could not even “save” our own baby.

 Post
abortive people are often not acknowledged or given the opportunity to speak
for ourselves and our children. In some ways we have been aborted too, not only
by people who may have pressured us to abort, but by a society who refuses to
listen to what we are saying. While I recognize many do not speak out because
of shame and guilt, there is a reluctance, especially by the media, to give us
a voice…or at least a sane voice.

 But,
in the end, I realize it is not really any of the above reasons that cause me
to hate being called “pro life” or “anti abortion”. I hate being called those
names because they are too general. I have been touched by this war on life in a
very personal way. I have lost a son that I will not meet in this world. The
name I truly want to be called is “mom” by my unborn son Joshua. That says it
all.