Reclaiming Our Children: A Blog About Healing After Abortion

The following post reminds me so much of Mary, a woman who worked with me for years, that I had to share it..after you read it I will tell you how Mary's life was much different from the woman in this post even though their stories were so similar.

My Grandmother's Abortion

My grandfather told me about my grandmother’s abortion long after her death.

 A bit of history. My grandmother was mentally ill. Though I have
memories of homemade oatmeal cookies and games of Go Fish, I have more
memories of profane outbursts, outrageous accusations, and bizarre
behavior. Throughout my childhood and teenage years, my grandmother
cycled in and out of treatment, tried and failed numerous drugs, and, at
times, terrified me with her mood swings.

 All the while, my grandfather stood by her.

 As she approached her sixties, the good times became more infrequent.
By the time she was in her seventies, they stopped. There was no
mistaking something was wrong with her. She became a bright-eyed,
bird-like woman who twitched constantly and did the Thorazine shuffle
within the confines of their single-wide mobile home. Taking her out in
public was an unpredictable experience. One day she could be smiling and
eating happily. The next, she’d be pinching men in the buffet line and
making inappropriate comments to the waitress.

 My grandfather endured all of this because he loved her.

 For many years I didn’t know what had happened to trigger her mental illness. I knew she’d been in Bellevue Hospital
in the early stages of her disease. Fifty years later and my
grandfather would still get tears in his eyes describing how the
orderlies would tie her up, put her in ice baths, treat her cruelly.
Prompted by the bruises he saw, he bribed the staff in hopes of better
treatment. When she finally was released, he vowed never to put her in
an institution again. He tried to keep that vow.

The rest is here:

http://reneemaynes.com/2012/10/16/my-grandmothers-abortion/

Mary too suffered from post partum depression after the birth of her second son. She too was hospitalized. She became pregnant again. Her husband felt here was no way she could have another child so Mary had an abortion.

For years after, Mary was in and out of psychiatirc hospitals. Her suffering was great and many labels were attached to it, but never the trauma of abortion.

Mary's husband died, and the  years found Mary still in and out of hospitals , her pain from her abortion denied, and now with a drinking problem as well. Desperate, she could not take it any more, and planned her suicide. Before taking action, she decided to clean her house so her sons who were now adults would not have to do it. It was then that Mary found our ad for our post abortion healing ministry, "Entering Canaan" which she had cut out of a flyer years before. She always knew her abortion played a big part in her  mental health, so she decided she had nothing to loose and life to gain, so, she overcame her fears and picked up the phone and called us.

Unlike the woman in the article, Mary was then able to work past all her feelings in relation to her abortion instead of people telling her they did not exist. The truth is abortion, legal or not, kills unborn babies and hurts countless women who then suffer from guilt, shame, anxiety, depression and a host of other issues. It even kills them.

I am happy to say that Mary worked through the healing process, and instead of her hospitalization every year around the anniversary of her abortion, she never was hospitalized again. In fact, she came to work for me . I was blessed to see someone so totally broken become a woman filled with faith, able to enjoy her children and grandchildren.

Mary passed away recently, not as the woman broken and ill who was in and out of the hospital, but as a woman  able to enjoy her family  filled with faith and peace.

I am sure that Renees grandfather loved his wife and did what he thought was best. There is so much denial of abortions impact in the mental health community. Even though they knew the abortion played a role in her mental health, they probably did not get any support . I also agree with the statement of Frederica Mathewes-Green,“No woman wants an abortion as she wants an ice cream cone or a Porsche.
She wants an abortion as an animal caught in a trap wants to gnaw off
its own leg.”, which all the more proves the point, abortion kills the unborn and hurts those o f us who have had them, legal or not.

I am so sorry her grandmother did not find the help she needed.

May they both rest in peace +