Reclaiming Our Children: A Blog About Healing After Abortion

If only the Church would leave women alone, there
would be no guilt after abortion. Men, too, could send their babies to their
deaths and not give it a second thought. All would be well in Abortionland.

Or
so pro-abortion activists would have us believe. Are they right? Of course not.

Defenders
of abortion refuse to publicly acknowledge the terrible guilt pangs men and
women suffer after aborting their children. This is a logical extension of
their illogical refusal to acknowledge that abortion is the destruction of
human life.

They’re
playing a game of smoke and mirrors: One needn’t be religiously inclined at all
to see that abortion is not a religious issue — it’s a human-rights issue.

I
know about the guilt problem firsthand. After having an abortion as a teenager,
I suffered emotionally and began down a destructive road. I picked a spouse who
had an alcohol problem. I did not think I deserved to be loved or treated well
by anyone. The marriage ended, and I struggled through single parenthood,
raising two sons on my own with no support.

My
faith not only got me through, but I also raised two great guys who lead
fulfilling and productive lives. As far as I know, no one calls single
parenthood a “religious issue.”

Oftentimes, we post-abortive people
of faith feel we have to apologize for our faith. I, for one, refuse to
apologize for the role my faith has played in my life — whether it comes to
healing after abortion or any other issue. My faith is not a problem that
instills guilt in me. It is a gift that brings me life.

My
mom suffered with Alzheimer’s for many years. It was a great trial for those of
us who cared for her. She was gone long before she physically died, and it was
very painful to watch a woman who never had a singe hair out of place walk out
of the bathroom with lipstick all over her face. It would have been easy to
despair. It was heart-wrenching to lose her to such a humiliating disease — and
it was my faith that got me through those times. As far as I know, no one says
Alzheimer’s is a “religious issue.”

There
is no doubt faith has seen me through some hard times and some joyous times. It
is part of who I am, but it is not why I suffered psychologically after my
abortion. I suffered because I took the life of my unborn child.

Recently,
a student from the Berkeley Graduate School of Journalism asked me if I felt
guilt after my abortion because I had returned to church. I replied: “No, it
was not on my return to church that I felt guilt over killing my unborn child.
I felt guilt because I saw my dead son lying on the bed beside me as a result
of a saline abortion.”

Most
post-abortive women and men come back to church, or to faith for the first
time, because they are filled with guilt and shame and are searching for peace.
It is there that they find it — through God’s mercy.

Most
women do not see their aborted child. They are shielded from the horror, but
they know just the same what has happened.

How
is it that those who are pro-abortion think religious faith can instill guilt —
while participating in the death of an innocent child has no such power?

How
is it that they decry deaths from illegal abortions in other countries — but
stay silent when women die here?

How
is it they refuse to acknowledge the pain countless women experience after
abortion — yet are more than willing to acknowledge emotional stress before
abortion?

Why
is the pain of guilt never a religious issue before abortion — but always one
after, when the result is not what pro-abortion activists would like?

No, it is not my Catholic faith that
made me feel guilt and shame and all the other emotions I lived with for years.
It was my innate call to motherhood. My humanness.

In
fact, it was my faith that saved me: God helped me heal and be whole again.

Why
would I ever apologize for that?

Theresa Bonopartis is
director of