Reclaiming Our Children: A Blog About Healing After Abortion

Judas and Me

I can always remember thinking as a kid that I never would have
betrayed Jesus like Judas had done. I couldn’t understand how he
could have made that choice. It all seemed so obvious.

Now, years later and hopefully wiser, I see that I am not so
different than Judas. We both thought we knew better than Jesus.

Instead of trusting in the love Jesus had for him and believing
Jesus had his best interest at heart, Judas took the situation at
hand on himself. Jesus was not doing things the way Judas thought He
should be and the Scribes and Pharisees were looking for someone to
sell Jesus out. Judas fell right into their hands, betraying Jesus
for 30 pieces of silver.

After the arrest, Judas felt instant remorse. The light went on
and he realized what a grave mistake he had made. He realized he had
sinned, “betraying innocent life.” Judas returned to the Scribes and
Pharisees and gave them back the 30 pieces of silver, but they wanted
no part of him anymore. They had accomplished what they had set out
to do and now told him in his despair, “What do we care about that?
It is your business.”

If Judas had gone to Jesus even then, if he had asked forgiveness
and trusted in His love and mercy, things would have turned out
differently for him. Jesus no doubt would have forgiven him and we
probably would be reading the book of Judas in the Bible, speaking about the unfathomable mercy and love Jesus had shown him.

But Judas did not do that; his pride and continued lack of trust
held him back. Instead of admitting what he had done and seeking
forgiveness he gave in to despair and went and hanged himself.

When I think of my abortion, I realize I too sold Jesus out. I did
not trust in the love and mercy of God or His divine providence
enough to know He would have taken care of both me and my unborn
child. I decided to give in to pressure, to trust that others knew
better than God. I decided to allow my abortion to happen.

the rest is here: http://afterabortion.org/2003/judas-and-me/