Reclaiming Our Children: A Blog About Healing After Abortion

Forgiveness touches women’s hearts

By Constance Dwyer
CFP Correspondent

GRAFTON – A young mother reminded a group of women Saturday that “God
loves you and the hardest lesson of all is to accept that God loves
those who hurt you, too.”
Allison Gingras, a Catholic writer and speaker who lives in Raynham,
founded Reconciled to You ministries in 2009. She shared her reflections
on forgiveness at an all-day retreat for women April 27 in St. James
Parish hall.
The timeless topic, which became timely with the Boston Marathon bombing
tragedy, had those in attendance paying close attention to what she
calls “the heart of the Gospel.”
As the ultimate example of how we need to forgive those who have
offended us, she cited Jesus’ prayer as he was dying on the cross,
“Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke
23:34)
“We need to reflect on the day of the Crucifixion. He wore a crown of
thorns; he was spat on, stripped, and taunted. He didn’t do anything
wrong; did nothing but love. He was blameless,” she said.  And yet as he
was dying, he was still able to ask for the forgiveness of his
persecutors.
Mrs. Gingras invited the women to imprint upon their hearts that “the
Crucifixion is not a one-day event. It’s every day. He took on our sin
so we could be forgiven.  Mercy you have been given, mercy you must now
give.”
The inspirational speaker shared her own story of struggling to forgive
and how it took her a long time to get unstuck from the pattern of
bitterness and resentment, to finally forgive. She recalled God’s
healing grace in Jesus’ words, “I came that they may have life, and have
it abundantly” (John 10:10). In prayer, she realized that
“unforgiveness freezes us in the moment we’re hurt, keeping us from
moving on or loving fully.”
Mrs. Gingras, who is the author of “Three Persons, One God: Growing in
Relationship with Father, Son and Holy Spirit,” emphasized that “we’re
all human and we are never beyond hurting another — intentionally or
unintentionally.” In our relationship with God we need to recognize that
“the power to forgive is from God” and “one of his greatest gifts we
have as Catholics is to take part in the sacrament of reconciliation.
There, we are freely given grace.”
She noted that she was particularly struck by a woman at one of her
talks who went to confession after an absence of 52 years. Afterwards,
she told Mrs. Gingras, “I feel so free.”
In encouraging participants to consider going to confession, she said,
“If you turn to him, he never leaves you empty.”  During the all-day
retreat, three priests were available to hear confessions.
“For those who hurt you; pray for them,” she advises. When she said,
“don’t pray to change them,” laughter filled the hall. “With the grace
of God, I can see those who hurt me as wounded people,” she added.
Stressing that “forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling,” she posed the question to the group: “Why forgive others?”
The answer is simple, she said, but we sometimes complicate it – “it’s
simply because God forgives us.”  Forgiveness requires we let go of a
few things: 1) being right; 2) justice; 3) evening the score, and 4)
expecting an apology.  Not that we let people off the hook for their
behavior, but we don’t make forgiveness conditional to that, she noted.
Only God can judge a person’s heart, so we leave the vengeance and the
justice to him, she said.
As she was preparing to end her afternoon presentation, she brought up
what has been on everyone’s mind: the bombing at the Boston Marathon.
She spoke here, too, of forgiveness: “If we get wrapped up in our anger,
then they have even more victims. Pray for them instead and forgive
them.”  Through forgiveness, she added, we exemplify a higher standard
which is what God wishes of us.  “He brought you here to be a witness to
others; we are all called to evangelize.”  In these situations as well
as when we face things such as cancer, trouble with children, job loss …
any of these painful situations … we can get angry with God. We need to
pray to not fall into that trap, knowing he loves us.
She asked the women to ask themselves: “How can I witness to hope and healing with my life?”
Some women from St. James Parish offered their thoughts on forgiveness. 
Webster resident, Kathy Aberizk remarked that Mrs. Gingras’ talk
reminds us “that God has an amazing message for us; that there is hope,
healing and joy. Her talk touches your heart.”
Leticia Atamian said, “I loved being here and she’s an amazing speaker.
We need more people like her speaking the word of God in a positive
perspective. We need to connect with one another — we are all family and
all different, of different color.” Her daughter, Uriel Atamian, 17,
the youngest attendee, was enthusiastic saying, “I’m so happy I came and
my Mom encouraged me in going.”

– Mrs. Gingras’ website is http://www.reconciledtoyou.com.