Reclaiming Our Children: A Blog About Healing After Abortion

“Be Still and Know
that I am God” (Psalm 46:10),

I do not know about the rest of you, but I have a hard time
staying still in suffering. There is a part of me that still seeks to act on my
emotions, or change a situation. It is something I have had trouble with all of
my life and has often hurt me more than the original suffering. The clinging to
my will instead of His.

I am now more conscience of my patterns. I try not to act on
my emotions which often are raging in times of deep hurt. Sometimes I succeed
and sometimes I fail, but with the help of God  I am maturing and learning more to “be still”
in the midst of these times.

I have also learned that it is ok to lament to God who hears
our prayers and sees the truth of any situation. That is why it was so nice to
read Pope Francis’ words, “lamenting suffering is a form of prayer and is
not a sin.”

Still, I must work at bringing the emotions to God and then “be
still”, trusting in Him and His love for me. It is not easy letting go, (something
we often have to do to be still), especially of things close to our heart. It
is a struggle, a dying to self and some days it is easier than others, but when
we do get the grace, it is totally freeing and allows us to cling to God alone,
who knows our hearts, loves us and longs to fill us with His life.

So, in the midst of suffering, although I may not “feel” it ,
I thank you God for this suffering with which I know you are purifying me and
bringing me closer to Your heart!