Reclaiming Our Children: A Blog About Healing After Abortion

St James

I have not visited Medjugorje since 1988 in its very
beginnings. At that time, there were no hotels, and whatever you bought came
from the St James Church gift shop. I actually stayed right across the street
from the church in the home of Marija’s cousin. In fact, at that time Jakov,
one of the visionaries,  was very young,
and working there, and it was from him that I bought two crosses for my sons
which we have to this day.

I hear things are very different now. Hotels abound and many
shops are available for gifts, but the one thing that has remained the same are
the messages of conversion, prayer and fasting from Our Lady.

In her August 24 2013 message to Marija she says:

“Dear children! Also today
the Most High is giving me the grace to be with you and to lead you towards
conversion. Every day I am sowing and am calling you to conversion that you may
be prayer, peace, love – the grain that by dying will give birth a hundredfold.
I do not desire for you, dear children, to have to repent for everything that
you could have done but did not want to. Therefore, little children, again,
with enthusiasm say: “ I want to be a sign to others.”Thank you for having responded
to my call.”

On September 19^th I will be going back to
Medjugorje. For the past two years I have been feeling her call. To be honest I
do not really feel a desire to go back except for that call I hear in my heart.
There is a part of me that even dreads what it is she may show me, but I trust
in her love for me and know whatever it is it will be for my good.

I have many memories of that first trip. The crazy bus ride
in the snow with Fr Michael Sepp (God rest His soul) praying Hail Mary’s all
the way as we feared for our lives riding through the mountain with no
guardrails. The amazing climb of Fr Larry Paolicelli’s mom to the top of Cross
mountain in spite of her Parkinsons disease that normally did not even allow
her to walk. The rosaries and medal that turned gold.

Climbing Cross Mountain

Mostly, I remember a lot of tears and grieving my abortion.
I remember climbing Cross mountain and placing one of those small plastic
fetuses there to memorialize my aborted son Joshua, and feeling like this is
where he was suppose to rest. I also remember being comforted by Our Mother of
Mercy as she enveloped me in her mantle.

Our Lady is a hug e part of my daily life, and  I have no doubt that our “Entering Canaan”
ministry would not be here without her to whom I consecrated myself over 20 years
ago. Although I cannot feel her presence often anymore, I know she is with me
daily and is instrumental in all my work.

Apparition room at the time

I do not know why she is calling me back to Medjugorje.
Perhaps  it is to remember and pray for those we serve, which I am sure to do, or world peace, which God knows we need, but I am sure it
is mostly for my own conversion.
That I may, by His grace, die more fully to myself,  and be prayer, peace and love. That I may want
to be “a sign to others”.  So in spite of
any fears or resistance, “I am all Yours and all that I have belongs to You, oh
most loving Jesus, through Mary your most Holy Mother!”

Our Lady of Medjugorje, Queen of Peace, pray for us!