Reclaiming Our Children: A Blog About Healing After Abortion

It has been almost 3 weeks since I returned from Medjugorje.
I had visited there in what I thought was 1988, but in discussing it with
others I went with at that time, I am told it was earlier than that, perhaps
1985 or 86. Things have definitely changed!

St. James in the 80's

I was totally shocked when I first arrived, a place that did
not even have one hotel has now been built up tremendously to accommodate all
the pilgrims who visit, and of course, like Fatima and Lourdes, the
commercialism has seeped in, in the form of many shops and restaurants. So be
it.

Before I go any further, I would like to say that I had been
experiencing a call in my heart to return for over two years. I was not sure why, but Our Lady certainly had
it in her mind to bring me back. I would even say I went somewhat reluctantly. Not
because I do not love our Lady, she has been a daily part of my life for
decades having consecrated myself through "True Devotion" over 20 years ago, but
I truly had no desire to make the long trip. Still, persistence kept nudging
me and I finally gave in.

I would like to say here that I know there are people who
deeply believe in the apparitions, those who do not, and those who are on the
fence. One reason given by those who do not believe is that the local bishop has renounced
them. My answer to that, is that for me, this is probably more of a sign of
authenticity. The same thing happened in Lourdes and Fatima and for
that matter, Guadalupe as well.

In the end, it does not matter.  I do not know if the apparitions are real, and
frankly it is not my job to discern. That is up to the Church of whom I will obey when
a decision is made known. What I do know is that Medjugorje is a place of great
living faith. One has only to look at the fruits to know something wonderful is
happening.  Thousands of people going to daily
mass, praying the rosary, and spending hours in adoration both in the chapel and
at the outside altar. I myself totally cherished this time, especially under the stars of Medjugorje at the Wednesday and Friday night adoration.

Sure there are other “signs," things showing up in pictures (we had a few in our group from the climb of apparation hill),
rosary beads and medals changing, illuminating statutes, etc., but for me, the
biggest miracles are the conversion stories and the vocations that have come
out of there. The biggest miracle of our faith is on our altars everyday and Medjugorje
brings people to the miracle of the true presence of Jesus Christ.

Apparition Hill

Working in post abortion ministry, this was a great time of
prayer and discernment for me… a rest in the Lord, but also a clarity of His will and an offering for those we serve.

I was very blessed to be with a wonderful, faith filled group
of people who inspired me, and who I pray will become lifetime friends. There is
nothing better than sharing the faith from your heart and I truly feel blessed
to have met them.

On my first visit to Medjugorje, I spent a lot of time
crying and mourning. I also placed a plastic fetus
on the top of Cross Mountain to symbolize my son Joshua who was aborted when I
was a teenager. As I reached the top of the mountain this time, I couldn’t help
but be overcome with gratitude at what the Lord has done in my life. The enormity of His forgiveness and Mercy overwhelmed me as I looked out
over the hamlet of Medjugorje and knowing that many had probably come here and
done the same thing over the years.  It
was so fitting, although I did not realize it at the time, that I would leave that
symbol at the foot of the cross where our
salvation was won and where my personal healing cumulated in a spiritual experience
on the floor of my bathroom at home not long after. An experience of
surrendering to God and climbing on the cross with Him there to find not pain
and suffering, but a love deep enough to heal my wounds of abortion.

I have no doubt many
more who are post abortive have had similar experiences over the years at the
summit of that Cross.

So, why did she bring me back after all those years?  I do
know, but that will have to wait for another time when I will share what she is
asking of me.

Is Medjugorje for real? Who knows.  But, I do know Jesus and
Mary are for real and so is their love for us and the love of the faithful manifested for them there. In
the end, that is all that really matters.

Our Lady, Queen of Peace, pray for us!