Reclaiming Our Children: A Blog About Healing After Abortion

“This was a clear counterpunch to the Republicans and right-wingers who came from out of state to push their agenda on us,” Sam Bregman, Chairman of the New Mexico Democratic Party said after the defeat of the abortion ban in Albuquerque yesterday.

With Thanksgiving right around the corner, one thing that hit me more than ever when I read the article, “Albuquerque Voters defeat Antiabortion Referendum,” in the New York Times, is how grateful I am that I do not see the destruction of the unborn as a victory.

God knows it is nothing that I have done that warrants this. In fact, I am only too aware that my actions leave me even more appreciative of the gift that God has given me when it comes to life. Having had an abortion myself at 16 weeks, I am all too aware of the development of a baby. My little Joshua surely was just that, a tiny baby boy deserving of the gift of life God wanted him to have.  After my saline abortion, I was left to gaze at his tiny hands and feet as he lay in the bed beside me at a local hospital, remembering that I could not believe this was actually allowed.  Seventeen years old, coerced, and blind to the development of a baby, the fact that this was actually allowed stunned me and left me reeling for years.

Now, over forty years later, it is not only allowed, but people are celebrating the victory of lifting the ban of aborting unborn children over 20 weeks.  A part of me wants to believe that those who voted for this are ignorant of what they did. In my heart, I do not want to believe that people would actually think this is acceptable, but I know in many cases that is not true. Hearts are hardened, selfishness is rampant, and there are many out there who are firm in their stance of abortion any time, any way, and for any reason.

And so, I am thankful. It is easy to think I feel the way I do because I have good in me, but I know this good does not come from me. There is good in me because of the grace, love, and forgiveness of who through His mercy has brought me to Himself.

As someone who is prolife, I must always be on guard about the attitude of the Pharisee who justified himself in the eyes of God because of the good he did.  Instead, I am thankful to know through His grace, that I am, in fact, the tax collector, beating my breast with the words, “ Lord have mercy on me a sinner.”

Through the grace of God, who I have come to know and serve, and who bought my forgiveness by dying on the cross, each day I remember where I have come from and that it is by His grace alone that I am not one of those celebrating, and for this I am very grateful.

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Please visit the Lumina Website for more information on Hope & Healing after Abortion.