Reclaiming Our Children: A Blog About Healing After Abortion

Well, we have a year to wait, but Exhale is making a “pro voice film."  I watched the preview. I liked it and I liked what I heard the women say. I think there is a lot of common ground here, especially when I read things like this:

“This film shifts the focus from politics to stories that expose the universal need to grieve and heal; to overcome judgment and stigma; and the most basic desire to understand our complex experiences through narrative.”

It is good that women are speaking out. Silent No More and Operation Outcry have actually been doing that for years. It is also good for us to try to understand why women abort so that they can, ”grieve and heal," and overcome “judgment and stigma." I think we share those goals. But, there is another reason that Exhale does not mention and that is to offer concrete help so women do not feel they have to abort. Then they would not need to deal with grief, stigma, and judgment.

One of the issues I have with Exhale is that they promote themselves as neutral when that is definitely not true. Their resources are filled with pro abortion groups while not having one pro life group listed, and you know, that would be fine if they said they are pro abortion, but, they are deceiving women.

Denying the reason for the grief someone is feeling, or even the stigma surrounding abortion does nothing to help someone heal. Instead once the mantras they proclaim wear off and the woman is left standing in truth, she will be filled with confusion and pain. No help there.

The “look – everyone has abortions, no big deal” mentality is not helpful to those who are hurting. “If you’ve had an abortion, you are not alone in your experience. Lots of women have abortions; women of all races, religions, and sexual orientations and women of a wide range of ages, education, and income. Abortion is one of the most commonly performed gynecological procedures in the United States, where about 1.2 million abortions are performed annually. Women have abortions for a number of different reasons and, while many women’s reasons are similar, each person’s experience is unique.”

Did you know?

• At least half of American women will experience an unintended pregnancy by age 45, and, at current rates, one in 10 women will have an abortion by age 20, one in four will have an abortion by age 30, and three in 10 will have one by age 45.
• Women of all ages, races, economic backgrounds, and religious beliefs have abortions.
• More than one million abortions occur in the United States every year.
• The lifetime average is about one abortion per woman, worldwide.

And that is supposed to make them feel better how?
Are we neutral? No, but we do not pretend to be. We believe taking the life of an unborn child is wrong, and that participating in that as a parent, whose natural instinct is to protect, is what has caused guilt, grief, and yes, stigma.

But, we also know that true hope and healing are possible. We have walked down the road of abortion, suffering, grief, guilt, anger. etc., etc., and  have worked through the issues to find peace. Is it hard? Yes, of course it is, but it beats living your life in denial, feeling crazy, carrying about the weight of abortion and blaming your issues on everything but what it is.

We choose instead to look at our experience and through real help get rid of the obstacles. True healing does not cause guilt and shame as they would have us believe, true healing frees us from guilt and shame and the denial that seeps into every part of our lives. It is then that we are free to enjoy life in peace and look forward to the day when we will meet our children in eternal life.

Pro Voice? All for it, but only if it is the voice of truth.