Reclaiming Our Children: A Blog About Healing After Abortion

Dan Stokman, MA, LPCC, CLC

What might change in your life if you were to relate to yourself and your shortcomings with greater acceptance and kindness?  Does the prospect of living this way bring you hope, scare you, or both?  If you responded with some hesitation, this reflects a common response to practicing self-compassion.   A recent client, who is a devout Christian, when asked where she could begin to relate to herself with greater kindness and acceptance stated that she didn’t even know what that would look like.  Upon further exploration she identified a fear that she would start to gain weight if she lived this way.  Other clients associate fear with self-compassion; some speak of becoming less productive, not getting ahead in life, and becoming selfish if they lived this way.  Perhaps we see some benefits to our inner critic and fear that we might slide into apathy and even patterns of sin if we didn’t criticize ourselves.   There can be a level of attractiveness in being critical of oneself even when our experience points to greater suffering.  Think of an area of your life where you are being hard on yourself and identify what emotions this brings up.   What is that like?  Is this leading you to greater peace and joy?  Is self-criticism deepening your relationship with Christ?

Before going further, I should note that self-compassion is not about sidestepping culpability and repentance for sinful behaviors.   There is a difference between humbly acknowledging and confessing one’s sin and delivering forms of self-attack regarding these choices.  The purpose of this article is to address the later.

The rest is here: http://www.catholictherapists.com/practicing-kindness-with-yourself.html