Reclaiming Our Children: A Blog About Healing After Abortion

It happens every once in a while. For some reason, I will remember something I did before my healing and conversion. Quite frankly, most times it horrifies me and I think to myself, how I could have been so blind and living in such darkness?

A product of the 60’s, I was all for the free love, anti-establishment mentality. You can imagine what my life entailed. I even remember identifying with the Chicago Seven… crazy times, crazy me.

The thing with remembering these things now, however, is that as horrific as they may be, I do not slither into a corner, or tremble at the judgment of God.  Instead, I marvel at what His grace has done in my life.

I am definitely a new person in the Lord. Don’t get me wrong, it is not that I am not sorry for the ways in which I lived, I am very sorry. It is a constant reminder of “there but for the grace of God go I", and I believe helps me to be more compassionate to those who are where I used to be. I would still be doing the same things or worse, if not for His grace. It is good to remember that so I never think I am the one doing it.

I have come to know and even expect sinfulness from me if I am not turning myself over to Him every second of my life. There is much sinfulness still present, and it will be there until the day I die. Of course, I try not to sin, and thanks be to God when I do it not as serious as it once was, although, I know fully, without His grace it would not be long before it was. I also frequent the sacraments which aide me in living a life close to the heart of God and help me to always look at where I tend to fall. The difference now is, I know all goodness is His, not mine, and it is in and through Him that any good comes from me at all.  I also know He loves me unconditionally and wants what is best for me always.

And so, I am constantly amazed at what He has done in my life and grateful beyond compare for His gift of being touched by Him through my healing from my abortion, which in the end was a catylst for my conversion. A paradox of our faith.

I know now in my heart of hearts that His desire is for everyone to heal and come to know Him, so that He can perform miracles of grace in our lives and implant in us the desire to serve Him with that heart.

And so, I thank you God for the miracles of grace that you put before me and pray that I see every opportunity as a gift to serve you more fully in bringing those suffering to your healing Heart.