Reclaiming Our Children: A Blog About Healing After Abortion

I  have  come  to  learn  that  God’s  ways  and  His timing, most times, are not the same as mine. He is gentle  and  heals  us  in  layers,  always  leading  us  to His love, the only place we have the courage to look at  our  sins.  He  knows  what we  can  handle  and  when, so he does not make us look at  everything  all  at  once.

Sometimes it may take years before things are revealed.I must admit, it has been over  thirty  years  since  my abortion, and the one person I  never  really  felt  called  to speak to was Joe, the father of my aborted son, Joshua. I am not sure why. Maybe because he was out of the picture by
the time I had the abortion, or because it had been so many years.  I  had  no  idea  where
he was, and it was just never something  that  came  up  for me,  so  it  came  as  a  surprise
when on a recent day one of my sisters asked me if I had ever told him what had happened. I replied that I thought he knew I had had an abortion, but we had never spoken. Then, she asked “Well, don’t you think he  has  a  right  to  know  what  happened?”   A  part  of me realized she was right, and I told her I would pray about it and ask God for direction.

Well,  this  time  He  answered  within  a  week!  I received a notice for my high school reunion and guess whose contact information was on the site! There was no denying that this was an answer to my prayer for direction. For over thirty years we had had no contact and then all of a sudden there he was!

I prayed for a few more days, and then sent him an email telling him what had happened. I also shared how  even  this  horrific  sin  God  had  brought  good out  of.  I  shared  how  our  unborn  son  had  touched thousand  and  thousands  of lives  through  Lumina  and Entering  Canaan.  I  also  sent him  the  web  sites  for  post abortive fathers not knowing what his experience had been
or  if  he  had  ever  addressed it.  Lastly,  I  told  him  he  did not  have  to  respond,  it  was okay, I just knew I was called to contact him and that I was sorry  I  had  given  in  to  the pressure to abort our son.

It  was  not  long  before I  received  a  response.  He apologized  for  what  I  had gone through and asked if he could make it up to me in any way.  At  no  time  during  my pregnancy did this boy (at the time we were teenagers) ask me to abort our baby, and I came to learn how my dad had approached him and threatened him, telling him to stay away from me. I would be lying if I did not admit it opened more issues with my dad, but as with many times in the past, I have made the choice to forgive him and I continue to pray for him.

Perhaps the greatest grace from all of this was that I knew in my heart I needed nothing from Joe. I was at peace and he did not have to “make up” for anything. Not that he could. I already knew that the only person capable of that was Jesus Christ, and He already had.
T Bonopartis '10