Reclaiming Our Children: A Blog About Healing After Abortion

 “Would my name have been the same?”

“Would I even be here?”

“Did my parents want me?

These are just a few of the haunting questions asked by many siblings of aborted babies, questions that they are often afraid to ask out loud for fear they too may have been seen as “unwanted."

"Unwanted” is a word they identify with all too often because that is what society leads us to believe about aborted babies, but we know this is not the truth. Most babies are aborted not because the mom feels as though she had a choice, but because she feels as if she had no choice. She wants her baby desperately, but is made to feel that it is impossible for her to continue her pregnancy, and so she caves in to whatever the pressures may be.

It is hard for siblings of aborted babies to understand this. They also have no idea of how the abortion is impacting the relationship they have with their parents. Perhaps they feel distant and unloved because their parent is afraid to bond because she feels she does not deserve a child, or that somehow she will hurt them.

Maybe their parent is overprotective, fearful of all they do because they are afraid God will punish them and take their child away. There are countless ways abortion impacts the parent/child relationship.

It is hard for a child to understand when they see a parent suffering with constant depression because of an abortion they may not know about.

It is hard for them to believe that they are loved and wanted sometimes.

We at Lumina are so blessed, along with The Friars of the Renewal, to offer “Entering Canaan” retreat days for siblings of aborted babies. We have been privileged for the past five years, to share in the hearts of those who seek to heal and understand the deception of abortion on so many families. With over 55 million abortions in our country, countless numbers of people are missing a sibling through abortion.

One participant in a recent retreat shared,

‘It was an incredible gift to join you all for the weekend. Thank you again for creating and hosting the weekend. The word that keeps coming to mind for me re the weekend is "tenderness"–the healing and encouragement of Christ was offered with such tenderness. Thank you. I've been longing for this kind of healing and community acknowledgment since I was 11 years old!” Laura

It is our hope, that through this outreach, we will continue to touch those suffering and help them understand what has happened and learn that their lives are valuable, the mistakes of others do not define who they are, their worth, or their dignity.  We pray to be able to help them see themselves as Father Mariusz and I, and most importantly God, sees each one of them – wonderful  gifts that are loved beyond measure by Him who brought them into being and longs for their peace and happiness.

Next spring we are excited to be offering our first retreat weekend for postabortive siblings in the Washington, DC area. Please check back for more details and spread the word as God's mercy reaches out and touches the hearts of those missing the embrace of a brother or sister.