Reclaiming Our Children: A Blog About Healing After Abortion

There is an amazing thing about post abortive healing. You do not have to do anything to earn it.  It comes freely, an aspect that is hard to believe for those of us who participated in the death of our children.

The longing for forgiveness and acceptance can be huge after abortion. Feeling totally unforgiveable and lost, we often will do anything to feel accepted, to “make up” for our sin. The bad news is there is nothing we can do to make up for our sin; the good news is we do not have to because Jesus Christ already has by dying on the cross.

One of my favorite parables is of the woman caught in adultery. She is dragged out into the public who stands ready to condemn and stone her to death. Then Jesus, speaks, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” (John 8:3-8),and one by one they disperse.

Even more beautiful to me is the fact that Jesus is so conscious of her shame and guilt that He keeps his eyes on the ground because He does not want to add to her pain. His compassion for her suffering, even though it was a result of her sins, speaks to the depths of His mercy and love for her."Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" he asks; she replies, "No one, sir." Then Jesus says, "Neither do I condemn you. Go, [and] from now on do not sin anymore."

That is the forgiveness Jesus gives her, and that is the forgiveness He gives us who are post abortive as well.  He does not tell us, “You are forgiven, but you must speak out about how terrible abortion is,” or, “You are forgiven but, you have to stand in front of a clinic and pray,” or “You need to do 50 rosaries daily to make up for what you have done.”  No, He tells us as he told her, “Go and sin no more”.

Respect Life Month can be very difficult for those who have had abortions. It can feel as if a neon light is shining on you for the entire month. Let’s face it, the subject is everywhere. Whether they are in their church pews feeling condemned in hearing about the evil of abortion while the forgiveness of God is not spoken of, or in the quest for acceptance, speaking out before they are ready, or perhaps caving in to unintentional pressure to participate in a clinic activity.

The past couple weeks I have received numerous emails and calls from women on their healing journey who have been brought to tears, filled with guilt or even anger during these past few weeks.  Here is part of one email I received in response to a public pro life demonstration:

“It mad me so angry and upset. What about all these people that are driving by, the ones that either had abortions or somehow were affected. Would they see the love and compassion of Christ calling out to them to know his mercy and forgiveness and compassion or would they become even more convinced that the "church", that God could not possible forgive them. Who are they reaching? I did not see one sign that read Abortion hurts woman, not one. All anyone would see was a bunch of people saying that abortion murders children . Of course you know I know that and understand the need for witness and sidewalk counseling. Not once have I heard this Respect life month about the church's efforts to reach women and men post abortive.”

Of course, speaking out about the evil of abortion, or praying in front of clinics are not bad things, but they should not be done to “make up” for abortion. They are not prerequisites for forgiveness, for healing, or for acceptance.

Like the woman caught in adultery, may we be a sign of mercy and keep our eyes on the ground while offering compassion and healing freely. May we always be careful not to exploit those looking for acceptance, knowing the price for their sin has already been paid through the crucifixion of Jesus Christ.