Reclaiming Our Children: A Blog About Healing After Abortion

On September 3rd, Cosmo magazine published the article "I Don't Need Forgiveness for My Abortion," by Lauren Barbato. It is in response to the Pope's Letter to Priests on forgiveness after abortion. 

Her article left me feeling sad and grateful.  I am sad for Lauren, but grateful to have found peace and forgiveness for my own past abortion. I am responding to Lauren's article here.

Dear Lauren,

I felt sad reading your article for Cosmo magazine. As with all the distraction of the pro abortion movement, you manage to divert the attention from the reality of the devastation of abortion for many, to outside people and institutions. The Pope is not causing stigma for women.  The stigma has been there all along, because it is not natural for a woman to take the life of her unborn child.

You speak of women who have had an abortion and are part of “Silent No More” as fixtures at anti abortion rallies, and claim you were taught that these women who hold their, “I Regret My Abortion” signs are sadder than the abortion itself.  What you fail to mention is, it is the abortion itself that caused that sadness and regret, not some outside source.

I must tell you, don’t worry about these women.  I know many of them well and they are grateful for the Jubilee Year of Mercy and the healing it will bring to countless women. I know, I am one of them. My faith, contrary to what you would like people to believe, did not stigmatize me or cause me to feel shame, grief, and pain.  In fact, I was not even in the faith then. Having an abortion, seeing my aborted son, and knowing I participated in his death caused that. My faith, on the contrary, freed me from that shame, grief, and pain.

You say you do not need forgiveness. That is fine, but to be honest with you I would not want to be someone who could take the life of her own child and not have regret. To me that is not a badge of courage, but worse than any shame I may have felt in the past.

I do agree with you that we are often judged and rarely heard as post abortive women. Others often speak for us instead of allowing us to speak for ourselves, after all they were our children, who better to speak to the issue? And yes, some people make it seem like we are all messed up and incapable, but I have learned that is their problem not ours.  I know where I am at, and the forgiveness and mercy of God is all that matters. I am at peace.

You site the APA denying there is any such thing as post abortion stress. If you do some research you will find it is headed by some pretty major pro abortion people. They can continue to deny our feelings (No word on them? Only the Pope?) but, there are countless numbers of us speaking out and saying differently, because we KNOW what abortion did to us in spite of the many ways the APA and other pro abortion groups may want to deny it. Don’t our experiences matter? They cannot tell us what we felt.

The church has not harmed us Lauren, nor has our faith, it has welcomed us in. You speak of the strings attached to healing but I fear those were the strings of your own heart tugging you into depression after your abortion. It happened to many of us. Sure you can deny it and rationalize and hide and defend, but the strings are obviously still there.

There are no strings attached to God’s mercy. It is freely given and there for the taking. Who knows, you may find that out this jubilee year!

In His Mercy,

Theresa