Reclaiming Our Children: A Blog About Healing After Abortion

I thought I had seen and heard just about everything, but I must admit I was brought to tears when I viewed and read the commentary on Teen Vogue’s latest online slideshow, “What to Get a Friend Post Abortion”.

The attempt to indoctrinate the young in order to plant the seeds of acceptance is no surprise.  Neither is the familiar implication, that the abortion itself is not the problem but, “how you are treated afterwards” is.

The smiling faces of BFF’s in school uniforms grace this slide show, as does the standard propaganda of the extreme pro abortion agenda.  In order to fulfill their desperate attempts at erasing stigma they are laying down the subconscious rules. Abortion is normal.  Abortion is good.  Abortion is safe…no problem.

From poems and movies, to underwear for heavy bleeding, to heating pads, to recruiting abortion clinic escorts, they instruct BFF’s on gifts to give their friends who have an abortion – turning it into a celebratory event instead of what it is – taking the life of your unborn child.

Sadly, these girls have no clue as to the impact of abortion because outlets such as Teen Vogue refuse to give their young readers all the facts. Once again, the god of abortion outweighs the true health and welfare of the people that have them, instructing them that anything but acceptance and gratitude are unacceptable.

I had an abortion as a teen. All the movies, poems and gifts in the world would never erase the deep sorrow and overwhelming guilt I felt for taking the life of my unborn son.  There is no doubt that Teen Vogue and similar magazines would blame my grief and pain on anything but my abortion.  But, for me that never worked. I saw my dead son lying on the bed next to me and no one could ever tell me killing him was alright.

Words like brave and courageous are used throughout the slide show, while encouraging the wearing of pro abortion pins and “girl power” hats.  Chances are many of these girls will walk around trying to play the part they are given in order to be accepted and “normal,” while in the quiet recesses of their minds they are constantly beating down the uncomfortable truth and immense pain of their actions.

For millions of women (and in this case girls), having control over the life of your unborn child does not bring you power.  On the contrary, It destroys any self worth you have leaving you feeling worthless, believing you are unforgivable and unlovable. There is nothing powerful or good about killing an innocent, helpless, human life.

There is much missing in Teen Vogue’s slideshow of “11 Thoughtful l gifts your friend who just had an abortion would appreciate.” In fact, I propose a new list: “11 things your friend who just had an abortion will not appreciate.” True, they may not experience these eleven things until years later, but if they have a beating heart, these will surface.

1. People denying her feelings after the abortion
2. The sorrow and guilt she feels for taking the life of her unborn child
3. The pain she may feel when she sees pregnant women or babies
4. The fact that no one wants to talk about it and deal with her pain
5. The nightmares of babies
6. The living in the fear of being found out by those she is close to that don’t know
7. The pain she will feel when she sees the development of her baby and reads about how it died
8. The possibility of never having any other children
9. The anger when she realizes the lies she has been told by the pro abortion groups who say they care for women
10. The addictions, anxiety, panic attacks , depression, and other mental health issues she may experience, but not attribute to her abortion because she was told she is not allowed to have those feelings
11. The heart wrenching realization of missing her baby, knowing she will never hold it in this world

And now a word to friends of teens who abort:

Being a true friend is not always easy.  We have to stick by each other through the good and the bad. Sometimes friends may not make the right decisions, but while we can judge the act, we should always be there for the person. So how does this apply to abortion? Here are 11 true gifts of real friendship.

Before the abortion:

1. Make sure she has all the facts of abortion including the risks to her health, the development of her baby, and what happens during the procedure.
2. Encourage her to tell her parents or another adult. Abortion is a life altering event and someone so young does not see the impact on the rest of her life. It is true that her parents may force her to abort but there are legal alternative in order to prevent that.
3. Tell her the truth even if you are afraid but, let her know you will always love her.
4. Find a good Crisis Pregnancy Center that will assist her to have her baby and offer options whether it is keeping her child or adoption.
5. Let her know what courage it takes to bring life to a child in such difficult circumstances and how proud you are of her for facing the challenges in her selflessness.
6. Remind her that as hard as it is she will never have to live with having killed her child

If she aborts anyway:

7. Show you care about her.
8. Allow her to express her feelings of grief, anger, and regret and assure her she is not crazy because she has those feelings.
9. Watch out for isolation or behaviors that will harm her.
10. Remind her healing is possible and seek out post abortion resources that will legitimize her experience and assist her in her healing.
11. Never tell her “I told you so,” she already knows
12. Listen, love her, and then listen and love her some more.

In this day and age when the desperation to make abortion normal and remove stigma is unleashed on our society at the expense of women and even our children, let us be diligent in proclaiming the truth which will set us all free.