Reclaiming Our Children: A Blog About Healing After Abortion

I often receive calls from people healing from abortion who have heard themselves be called "murderers." It is heartbreaking because hearing this clouds the mercy of God for them leaving them discouraged and sometimes fleeing from the Church. Our God is a God of mercy and forgiveness. In fact, as we come upon this Lenten season we are reminded that is exactly why He came to earth. May we always acknowledge the wrong of abortion but, may we also be the face of Christ to those who are seeking reconciliation and healing.

 "Certainly what happened was and remains terribly wrong. But do not give in to discouragement and do not lose hope." (The Gospel of Life – Saint John Paul, II speaking to those who have had an abortion.)

There is a saying that the Elliot Institute uses that I find to be so true, that many women are socially aborted before they ever step foot into a clinic.

Threats of rejection by boyfriends, spouses, family members, and friends are often a motivating factor in making the decision to abort. Thoughts of abandonment and alienation by loved ones are too painful to bear, making it seem easier to choose between those familiar and an unborn child whom they have never seen leading to the false belief that the child does not even exist yet.

But, the reality of abortion sets in, with birthdays never celebrated, hugs never given or received, anniversary dates, and an ever-present void filled with guilt, shame, and grief.

Social abortion however, does not end with the death of the unborn child. As “OK” as abortion is suppose to be, it carries a stigma. No one likes to speak of it unless it is in broad terms, in defense of or objection to abortion itself, but the personal pain of abortion is avoided like the plague. People are just not comfortable with it. Inside their hearts everyone knows a life of an innocent has been taken.

I have gotten into “discussions” with well meaning prolifers who feel a need to remind those of us who are post abortive of the severity of our sin. I have seen the use of sayings such as “abortion is homicide," and “abortion is murder” do more harm than good. Many people find it condemning and judgmental. I have been chided for speaking out against using these phrases and to be careful as I will “turn some pro lifers off."  But, how many souls are those words are killing?

Sometimes the prevalent message still seems to be “we know better than you, let us do this.” I have come to find out that that is not true. The aborting of women by both sides is just as lethal, perhaps even more so, because it kills the soul, the life source to living in heaven.

“Freaky Ally” wrote to me once. She is 15 years old, distraught over an abortion her mother made her have. I kept thinking of Ally seeing the someone wearing the t-shirt “abortion is homicide." I think it would be enough to send her over the edge. No one needs to remind her she killed her child. She lives with it each day. It is her baby that she will never hold in this life.

I have also been told that it is not the responsibility of pro lifers to guard their speech for postabortive people because they need to proclaim the evil of abortion. Perhaps they need to be reminded of the magnitude of people who are affected by abortion. Everyone knows someone who has had an abortion, everyone is touched by its aftermath in some way, those who are post abortive are everywhere. While the evil of abortion always needs to be proclaimed, the way in which the proclamation is made needs consideration. 

The killing of life can happen in many forms. Although abortion can never be justified and is always wrong, the killing of a person's hope or the life of a soul is also offensive to God. Perhaps, before passing judgment on others, we need to look at who we are aborting in our hearts.