Reclaiming Our Children: A Blog About Healing After Abortion

Do the media influence society? Or does society influence the media? If you ask Hollywood, the answer is simple. Movies are a reflection of life and not the other way around. If you asked me this in the past, I would have probably agreed since my career lies within the communications industry. However, if you ask me this question today, I will deeply disagree and believe that life is strongly influenced by all forms media that surround us. We are bombarded by media and messages every minute of every day. In fact, we see more than 5,000 commercial messages each day and media plays an increasingly important role in modern society. Media and messaging creates demand on society and to take a little creative license with a statement from E.F. Schumacher, “What is the great bulk of media and advertising other than the stimulation of greed, envy and avarice…at least three of the seven deadly sins.” Media is an extraordinary unconscious force in our everyday lives.

Each night, one of the last things I touch is my mobile device, while watching TV and my morning ritual includes looking at email the moment I open my eyes. We’ve lost a sense of humanity because of technology and although technology supposedly helps improve our lives, we’ve digressed with regard to interpersonal skills and empathy. What’s worse is that media has touched many morals and has played a vital role in making them immoral. In spite of this, these immoral acts are positioned as being acceptable in today’s society. The corruption has become custom. The abnormal has become the norm and what was once considered to be wrong is now right. Unfortunately, if you become too engrossed in media and its messages, you may easily run the risk of being blinded and losing your way in doing what is truly right in life.

I remember seeing a pre-screening of the movie, “It’s Complicated” with Alex Baldwin and Meryl Streep. The movie was very entertaining and the audience laughed at quite a few scenes. However, I realized at one point during the film that the storyline was based on many immoral acts that seemed quite normal today. Adultery was being debated as an acceptable act. An engaged couple were co-habiting as a married couple. Smoking marijuana was an unobjectionable activity when it came to escapism. For the first time, I sat there in the theater and asked myself, “What have we as a society become if we think this movie is humorous and acceptable as normal life as we know it today?” What’s more disturbing is the fact that primetime TV casually displays immoral behavior including cheating, stealing, lying (and the list continues) within episodes. One episode of “Sex and the City” nonchalantly discussed the topic of abortion when one of the lead characters became pregnant out of wedlock. The question was posed as, “Are you going to keep it?” That’s it! It was as if they were contemplating keeping a lost puppy. Media has literally flipped priorities and principles on its head.

We’ve simply become immune to so many immoral issues in today’s society as a result of how the media positions these issues as being immaterial. And what’s more frightening is the fact that many people start to believe that the abnormal is normal. Regrettably, I have fallen victim to this unethical way of thinking even though I have always been considered as a very moral, ethical, principled person who grew up in a God-fearing family environment.

Over a decade ago I was presented with one of the most difficult, controversial issues imaginable which was always an easy answer in my mind until my own sibling came to me asking for help… “We’re unmarried, pregnant and far from ready for a child.” I was not only stunned but also shaken to the core of my soul. The answer was always so simple until that moment. They were a long way from ready to have a baby and I could see pure fright in their eyes. The discussions were torturous and although buried deep within our hearts we knew the right thing to do, the decision was to terminate the pregnancy instead. Not only did I encourage this decision but I also went against a deep moral belief that I stood for since I understood the definition of abortion. I thought I was protecting my sibling by going out of my comfort zone and against my anti-abortion stance. Instead, I am living the most uncomfortable, painful and remorseful life imaginable. The regret is unspeakable on so many levels.

Today, the couple is married and they have two beautiful children. The love I have for these children is greater than life itself. Although I am not being blamed for the final decision, there are no words to describe the sorrow I have for encouraging a mother to abort her child and for being a cause of such immense pain everyone felt on the horrifying day. I guess I’m one of the few lucky ones to only have to live with the inconceivable guilt for the rest of my life and not also be blamed for encouraging such a shameful and despicable decision.

However, I am reminded of what I encouraged to be terminated every time I hold either one of their children in my arms. The agony in my heart never seems to ease and most likely, will never diminish. As if that isn’t grueling enough, keeping this decision that I encouraged locked deep within my heart is like being imprisoned within my own mind.

We are all co-equal by nature and I didn’t defend the dignity of that life. Instead, I’ve fallen victim to the displays of evil that have been transformed to acceptable acts in life. Some may say it was a cowardly act on my behalf and that may be true but I do not want to live without honor. With that said, I share this story with you to fight this evil act with honor, truth and dignity in order to hopefully, turn something so demeaning in my life into something positive in someone else’s life by influencing them to not make the same horrific decision I made and realize the mourning you go through is never-ending. My utmost hope and prayer is that the precious life that was terminated that day because of my encouragement will not have been aborted in vain.

My plea to you is quite simple, yet profound. It is to realize the manipulative and brutal force that media can easily have on society, especially children…and yes, even God-fearing folks. It is not an excuse for my remorseful and regrettable act but it subconsciously and viciously played a role that day just as it does in our everyday lives. I recently read an alarming statistic that 39% of all pregnancies in NYC alone are being aborted. We have reached a new holocaust in history and I pray that instead of being overcome by evil, I will help to overcome evil by influencing others not to make the same disgraceful and life-long painful choice.

There are many significant issues that have become so insignificant by the way the media portrays them. Please put on your suit of armor, stand tall, believe in what your heart is saying and don’t fall victim to the heartless influence of media. The abnormal is not the norm and there is no greater abnormality than to go against everything you believe in…especially when the consequence is living each day with remorse and shame beyond comprehension for the rest of your life.

Please share this letter and please pray for me, our society that is under fire, all those who are facing the same daunting decision that they will choose right from wrong…and most of all, for those children without a voice. – Lisa