Reclaiming Our Children: A Blog About Healing After Abortion

Most of us have probably heard of the song ”That Old Black Magic”. It speaks of the magic of begin in love and the power someone can have over you when you are under that “spell”.

Just as “love” in the song is blamed for the lack of control the person is feeling, the pro abortion movement make abortion a religious issue and point to “faith” as the reason and power behind abortion guilt..

Some of us may have heard the chant, “Keep your rosaries off of my ovaries”. The reasoning goes that if only the church would leave women alone, all would be well in abortionland, and the decision to abort would magically be freed from its guilt ridden aftermath. Legalizing abortion did not accomplish this, so the next best scapegoat is the church. The fact that a woman or man could actually suffer guilt because they have aborted their child is something defenders of abortion have refused to publicly accept. But how can abortion defenders explain this guilt phenomenon? They repeatedly define the problem of abortion as anything but what it is, the destruction of human life. The fact that one could actually suffer because they have aborted their child is something they refuse to accept. They repeatedly try to make abortion a religious issue instead of the human rights issue it is.

After an abortion I had as a teenager, I suffered emotionally and began down a destructive road. I picked a spouse who had an alcohol problem. I did not think I deserved to be loved or treated well by anyone. The marriage ended and I struggled through single parenthood raising two sons on my own with no support. My faith not only got me through, but I raised two great guys who lead fulfilling and productive lives. As far as I know, no one calls single parenthood a religious issue.

Oftentimes, post abortive people have been put on the defensive with this line of thought. Caught up in our own healing it is easy to react instead of brazing a new path for ourselves.  We are often found apologizing for our faith, instead of recognizing the corner we have been backed into. I for one refuse to apologize for the place my faith has in my life when it comes to abortion or any other issue. My faith is not a problem that instills guilt in me, but a gift that brings me life.

My mom suffered from Alzheimer’s for many years. It was a great trial for those of us who cared for her. She was gone long before she physically died and it was very painful to watch the woman who never had a hair out of place, walk out of the bathroom with lipstick all over her face.  It would have been easy to despair. It was heart wrenching to lose her to such a humiliating disease, but, it was my faith that got me through those times.  As far as I know, no one says Alzheimer is a religious issue.

You get the picture. I can share numerous examples of faith in my life. There is no doubt faith has seen me through some hard times and some joyous times. It is part of who I am, but it is not why I suffered psychologically after my abortion. I suffered, because I took the life of my unborn child.

Recently a student from Berkley’s School of Journalism asked me if I felt guilt after my abortion because I returned to church. I replied that “No, it was not on my return to church, I felt guilt because I killed my unborn child. I saw my dead son lying on the bed beside me as a result of a saline abortion.” Most post abortive women and men come back to church, or to faith for the first time, because they are filled with guilt and shame and are searching for peace. It is there that they find it through Gods mercy.

Most women do not see their aborted child like I did. They are shielded from the horror, but they know just the same what it is that has happened. How is it that pro aborts think faith can instill guilt, but a dead child, a death you have participated in, cannot? How is it that they decry deaths from illegal abortions in other countries but stay silent when women die here? How is it they refuse to acknowledge the pain countless women experience after abortion, yet are more than willing to acknowledge the feeling before abortion. Why is it not a religious issue before abortion, but always one after when the result is not what they would like?

No, it is not my Catholic faith that made me feel guilt and shame and all the other emotions I lived with for years. It was my innate call to motherhood. My humanness. In fact, it was my faith that saved me, helped me to heal and be whole again. Why would I ever apologize for that!

(reprint of an old one)