Reclaiming Our Children: A Blog About Healing After Abortion

It struck me from the moment we left Old St Patrick Cathedral to begin the procession to Planned Parenthood's Margaret Sanger Abortion Clinic on Bleeker Street in NYC.

Monsignor Reilly, founder of Gods Precious Infants, a group that goes to abortion clinics to pray daily, refers to the clinics as the “modern day Calvary.” It is so true.

There in front of me, framing the cross being held by one of the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal, who sponsor this procession with the Frassati Fellowship every first Saturday of the month, was a sign saying, “I ain’t Sorry”.

It struck me like an arrow the moment I saw it, piercing my heart as I was immediately brought back to the crucifixion of Jesus and those who shouted for his death. But I was also in the present moment as I wondered what experience the young woman holding the sign had that would make her not only abort her unborn child, but proudly proclaim her lack of remorse. She was loud and angry, and I knew behind her arrogance there was probably a lot of pain and a lack of love.

Monsignor, who is one of my favorite people and someone I consider a walking saint, also speaks about how turning moms away from abortion and saving the children is not the only reason to pray at the clinics, he speaks of another very important reason. He is there to save souls. The souls of the moms walking in, the souls of the dads, the souls of the escorts and abortionists and anyone else there who has been involved in abortion in any way.

As a post abortive woman, myself, who has worked with other women who have had abortions, I am aware that most times women abort not because they have a free choice, but because they often feel that there is no other choice. Many may believe they have chosen freely, but once you hear their stories you come to find that very rarely is there a woman who walks joyfully into a clinic to kill their child.

This in no way makes any abortion okay, and I admit it may be hard to draw up compassion for some of them who are joyfully celebrating the death of their children or the right to kill them, but it does help to understand why abortions happen so that we can offer those who walking in to the clinics the help they need so that they do not feel they need to abort. It also opens our hearts to understand those who have aborted so that we may help them on their road to God, the only one who can truly heal them.

God brought me to Bleeker Street specifically for that woman yesterday. After seeing her with her sign, I felt in my heart as though He had brought me there to pray for her and her conversion, and so all my prayers were offered for her.

Our Lady’s message at Medjugorje to Mirjana on November 2nd said:

Dear children, my motherly heart suffers as I am looking at my children who do not love the truth, those who are hiding it-as I look at my children who do not pray with their feelings and actions. I am sad as I am saying to my Son that many of my children no longer have faith, that they do not know Him-my Son.

That is why I call you, apostles of my love: you strive to look to the very depth in human hearts and there you are certain to find the little hidden treasure. To look in this way is mercy from the Heavenly Father. To seek the good even where there is the greatest evil-to strive to comprehend each other and not to judge-that is what my Son is asking of you. And I, as a mother, am calling you to listen to Him.

My children, the spirit is mightier than the flesh, and, carried by love and actions, it overcomes all obstacles. Do not forget: my Son has loved you and loves you. His love is with you and in you when you are one with Him. He is the light of the world and no one and nothing will be able to stop Him in the final glory.

Therefore, apostles of my love, do not be afraid to witness the truth. Witness it with enthusiasm, with works, with love, with your sacrifice, and, above all, in humility. Witness the truth to all those who have not come to know my Son. I will be alongside you. I will encourage you. Witness the love which never ends because it comes from the Heavenly Father who is eternal and who offers eternity to all my children. The spirit of my Son will be alongside you.

Anew I am calling you, my children: pray for your shepherds, pray that the love of my Son may lead them. Thank you.”

On the way back to the clinic the young woman with the sign was suddenly beside me. With angry eyes she shouted at me “Do you see my sign or are you blind, I had an abortion and yes, I am not sorry.” Feeling prompted by the Holy Spirit,  I responded, “I had an abortion too.” A true look of surprise came on to her face.

I don’t know if that impacted her or if she forgot about it in the next moment. Sadly someone grabbed me away before we could speak more, and she walked on, but I trust it was a moment set up by God, and I’m praying somewhere in her hardened human heart where her ‘ little hidden treasure” is she felt a flicker of God’s love and hope.

I will continue to pray for that young woman and all those women who do not know the truth and are so angry. Angry because they felt in some way, they had to kill their children and they think our witness is not allowing them to forget, justify or stay in the dark. The Spirit can overcome all obstacles as I have witnessed countless times in our ministry and I have hope for them.

May we all continue to be apostles of the love of God to those who do not know Jesus, so that we may be a sign of His love  at the clinics and everywhere else in the world. Jesus, we trust in You!