Reclaiming Our Children: A Blog About Healing After Abortion

When I met Mary she was in her fifties. Mary had suffered from postpartum depression upon the birth of her sons. In those days, depression was treated with hospitalization and shock treatment. It was a difficult time for her family.  When she became pregnant again, her husband told her she needed to get an abortion or he would leave her. He did not feel it was fair to the family, especially her two young children, to take the risk of her being hospitalized again. Mary gave in to the pressure and aborted her unborn child.

Kathy’s husband was an alcoholic. She was struggling to raise and support their children alone. Faced with an unplanned pregnancy, she panicked. She did not see any way she would be able to continue the pregnancy and still take care of the children she had. Sadly, Kathy chose abortion, thinking it was a solution.

Beth and Tom were told their baby had deformities. Her doctors and other people made Beth feel that it would be selfish to bring the pregnancy to term.  The couple caved in to the pressure and aborted their child.  They have lived with that decision every day since.

St. John Paul II said to post abortive women in the Gospel of Life, “I would now like to say a special word to women who have had an abortion. The Church is aware of the many factors which may have influenced your decision, and she does not doubt that in many cases it was a painful and even shattering decision. The wound in your heart may not yet have healed. Certainly what happened was and remains terribly wrong. But do not give in to discouragement and do not lose hope. Try rather to understand what happened and face it honestly. If you have not already done so, give yourselves over with humility and trust to repentance. The Father of mercies is ready to give you his forgiveness and his peace in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. To the same Father and his mercy you can with sure hope entrust your child. With the friendly and expert help and advice of other people, and as a result of your own painful experience, you can be among the most eloquent defenders of everyone's right to life. Through your commitment to life, whether by accepting the birth of other children or by welcoming and caring for those most in need of someone to be close to them, you will become promoters of a new way of looking at human life.”

While we know abortion is never the answer and is always wrong, we are called to be a sign of God’s mercy and forgiveness to those who have made this terrible decision in their lives. While some women make a mockery of abortion, we need to remember that unless they experience the love of God they are unable to look at their abortions, and so it is necessary for them to rationalize, justify, and even embrace what they have done.

It is disturbing to read the words of many who condemn those involved in abortion.  It is something they have done, not who they are. They are children of God and should be treated with dignity. No one will be moved to repentance by the judgment of those who proclaim them murderers or who like to believe they care more about their children then they did. Many women think of their aborted children every day of their lives.

Years ago when a priest became involved in post abortion ministry, he said to me after his first retreat, ”These are such good women. I do not know what I expected, but God has taught me something here.” Good women sometimes do bad things.

 Jesus came to earth for the salvation of souls. He suffered, died, and rose again because he loves us and wants us all to be with Him for eternity, babies and parents alike. We have the ability to be the face of Christ in this world, not the face of despair and judgement. Which one do you choose?

In the end, you may find that you yourself have spiritually aborted many souls from God for eternity by your words.