Reclaiming Our Children: A Blog About Healing After Abortion

I am so blessed. I meet God every day in the women and men we minister to. I don’t always”love” it. In fact, in my human nature I moan and groan (Mary can tell you that!). I have a friend who calls me the whiney saint…he is right. I am weak and the human side of me still hates suffering, but I also love the suffering because it is there at the cross that I encounter Christ and His great love for us. It is there I find the strength to continue and bear this life's sufferings. It is there I found healing from my abortion.

Perhaps the best way to explain it would be to share something I wrote after my own healing. I know some of you had read it before, but it truly does put into words, as best it can, what I know of the cross. 

“Where Mercy Meets Faithfulness

It is the point of healing. The joining of ultimate pain with ultimate love.
An act of complete trust and surrender, a climbing on the cross with Christ there to join mercy with faithfulness.

I can remember the struggles of faithfulness, the searching in the dark to find God, the holding on to His Word because I had tried everything else and I longed to be healed. The movement in spite of the pain, the darkness, the fear, because there was nothing to loose. There could be no greater hell than the one I had made for myself.

I begged and pleaded with God reminding Him of His promises, in spite of me. I worked at chipping my remains away, fighting myself so I could reach a complete surrender.

There were many times when I needed encouragement to continue, my temptations and bouts with despair. Times when I felt I couldn’t go on, but God provided the people necessary to give me the push that I needed, the words I had to hear, the strength to hang on.

I continually pleaded for the saint’s intercession and especially entrusted myself to Mary and Joseph.

And finally, one day alone with Jesus, because He is the only one who can heal, I trusted enough to climb on the cross, to be one with the pain and love that exists there and to allow that love to fill the deep wounds that I had.

There, His mercy met my faithfulness and I finally felt healed of my abortion. I suddenly understood so much of scripture. So much of it was then fulfilled in me, such a gift given. I felt like Mary Magdalene at the foot of the cross. Immense love had taken on immense sin and had washed away its stains.

To be sure, the process of healing from abortion is painful and delicate, but with the right help and trust in God even if not “felt”, it is possible. Jesus in His mercy longs to heal us…we in our faithfulness need to persevere.