Surrender.
There is something terrifying about that word…a total free fall, letting go of all control. As someone who has experienced abortion, I don’t really like that feeling.
I gave up control of my unborn child allowing others to dictate its fate. That crucial lack of strength to stand by my beliefs and conviction not only killed my unborn child, but left me struggling for years for some kind of healing, so, needless to say, I am not so good at the concept of “surrender”.
Yet, that is precisely what God asks of me. To die to myself and surrender my will to Him. To trust He has my best interests at heart. Again not an easy thing since those who were suppose to love and protect me had coerced me into the abortion. Even if you feel abortion was a free choice chances are outside influences impacted your decision. Of course, that does not mean it was okay, it is never okay, just that it most often, complicated.
I know it is not the same with God. He has shown me His love over and over again through His tremendous mercy and the many blessings He has given me in healing, yet I still struggle with letting go.
I find my strength in looking to Mary and placing myself under her mantle, the perfect model of perfect surrender.
Surrendering is a process. A constant dying to self a little at a time ,so that He may live in me. My “self” does not go easily. It is a battle where I always seem to be kicking myself out of the way, sometimes more willingly than others. Yet, I know it is in that surrender, that crucifixion of my will, that I will find His peace, love, joy and mercy.
In this month of Our Lady may we each surrender to the will of her Son!
Our Lady of the Great Surrender, pray for us!
Mary, Mother of the Great Surrender,
I entrust myself to you without reservation.
Thank you God, for allowing me to see the truth
about my weakness and how it calls upon
the abyss of Your Merciful Love.
Reclaiming Our Children: A Blog About Healing After Abortion 
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