Reclaiming Our Children: A Blog About Healing After Abortion

I remember when I first came back to the church. We had a very dynamic faith filled new priest in our parish, and the Spirit was very alive in all that was going on. It was easy to feel good about things. I was basking in my new found faith. Being spiritually immature, I thought we were something special and took pride in the things we were doing in the pro life movement and a lot of other places.

When that priest left our parish, so did a lot of people.  It seemed the Spirit took leave with him and so many of the wonderful things he had begun one by one ended. It was painful. The presence of God I had begun so accustom too seemed to have disappeared. How could that be? I was crushed.

In hindsight it was one of the best things that could have happened to me.  I began to learn that faith, true faith, had nothing to do with what I was feeling at one moment to the next but everything to do with my belief in the promises of God.

It was a hard lesson to learn.  I often felt abandoned which was a real trigger for me from my abortion, but I refused to believe that God would abandon me. After all, I had an encounter with Him in my healing and there was nothing or no one who could take that experience away from me. And so, I began to learn to trust in darkness, and then I began to learn to trust in the midst of attacks because I believe in Gods love and His word.

Sure it is not always easy. I still get tossed around by the storms of life at times, but no matter how I feel, I never think of walking away.  I know God is present to me always even when I cannot feel Him.

That truth has been a mainstay for me through many of life’s difficulties.  Now, when I am blessed with “feeling” His presence, instead of thinking I somehow have something to do with it, I am very much aware it is a gift from Him and not something I deserve and this too is a gift.

Jesus, I trust in You!