Reclaiming Our Children: A Blog About Healing After Abortion

“Theresa, you need to accept the possibility that your father may never repent of your abortion.” I will never forget those words said to me by my spiritual director. I had been praying a novena to Our Lady of Czestochowa for years, the patroness of the “Entering Canaan” post abortion ministry I developed with The Sisters of Life.

Coerced into abortion as a teen by my dad, I had made it a daily practice to ask her to change his heart and to bring him to the mercy of her Son. The thought that my dad may never open himself up to the graces being given was something I did not want to accept.  I said that prayer everyday for over twenty years.

Forgiving my dad was not easy. I wish I could say he thought he was doing what was best for me when he forced me to abort, but my dad was concerned about the way things looked and I have since learned he was involved in other abortions.

The death of my unborn child altered my entire life and the struggles with abandonment and forgiveness were not easily overcome. Only through my own healing and the grace of God was I able to begin to show my father the mercy and forgiveness that was shown to me by God.

It is difficult to embrace the unrepentant heart. It can fill us with anger, resentment and even hatred if we allow it. The choice to forgive must be made over and over again because that is the choice that God wants us to make. That of course does not mean we have to open ourselves to be hurt again but it does mean we need to free ourselves of the hold those feeling s can have on our lives.

My abortion impacted my entire family. The devastation it brought was never far from us even if it was unspoken and denied. It is the same in countless other families, especially when it comes to coercion, yet still some people cling to the sin of abortion often repeating the act even though they know of the damage it has done. Their “I” is still more important than Him and they stubbornly cling to their pride and desires even knowing the truth about abortions devastation.

It is very difficult to continue to show unconditional love to such people. We can become blinded to anything but the destruction of the unborn child and the hurt their coercion has caused, but still we must offer the mercy of God whether it is wanted or not. Not an easy task and impossible without God’s grace.

We must always remember that these people are lost. Very lost and we must try to light the way to Christ.

At the end of his life. Thankfully, my dad did repent. He went to confession and our last words were me telling him to hug my unborn son when he saw him in heaven. It is a reminder that Christ came to call sinners. That we need to learn the lesson of Advent and be patient and wait, because we never know how God is working.  Yes, there are those who will continue to refuse the mercy of God, but it is our job to keep offering it never knowing if in that last second they will repent.

”Hark, the Herald Angels sing
Glory to the newborn King;
Peace on earth, and mercy mild,
God and sinners reconciled!”

May our voices join with theirs as we approach the birth of Mercy Himself.