Reclaiming Our Children: A Blog About Healing After Abortion

One of my favorite books is titled, “In the Arms of Mary”. I read it for the first time about 20 years ago. When it arrived, I naturally began to browse through it to see what it was like.  It began to touch my heart in a profound way.  It quickly became my favorite as I prayed through its pages and recognized that it paralleled so much of what I have experienced and seen in the pro life movement.  What an appropriate thing on the Feast of the Immaculate Conception to be “in the Arms of Mary”.  What a comforting thought…

It is often hard for us to understand why God has let this abomination of abortion go on for over 50 years.  How can he put up with it…over 60 million unborn children dead and counting.  How much mercy can he possibly have?  We may wonder “Why doesn’t he stop them from this killing?”

The “why” I have come to believe, is just as much for us as it is for them.  He is allowing it to continue because He is being merciful to all of us.  Not only the pro choicers, but those post abortive and those pro life, for we all need to learn as “In the Arms of Mary” tells us, to pray and live as the tax collector.

I would like to share this reading with you…Luke 18:9-14

“He then addressed this parable to those who were convinced of their own righteousness and despised everyone else.  ‘Two people went up to the temple area to pray; one was a Pharisee and the other was a tax collector.  The Pharisee took his position and spoke this prayer to himself, “O God, I thank you that I am not like the rest of humanity – greedy, dishonest, adulterous – or even like this tax collector.  I fast twice a week and I pay tithes on my whole income.”  But the tax collector stood off in the distance and would not even raise his eyes to heaven but beat his breast and prayed “O God, be merciful to me a sinner.”  I tell you the latter went home justified, not the former; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled and the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”

The Pharisee was not visibly a sinner.  It appeared that he did all things right, but because of his attitude he robbed God of His glory.  He did not admit his own nothingness.  He attributed the good he did to himself.  As the book says, “We are vessels, we were sinners, we are sinners and we will remain sinners to the end of our earthly lives” all of us.

From the days of activism in pro life , Operation Rescue and Silent No More, I have seen and participated in the dynamics of the movement and have seen, and personally been during those years, both the Pharisee and tax collector.  Chances are we all have.

Pro life:

While there are countless wonderful people in the pro life movement, I have also heard a lot of misunderstanding.  Comments like

I would never have an abortion (self rightiousness)

Or

“How can anyone have an abortion? (Judgementalism)

Or

I can understand one but how can anyone have more than one?  — thank God you cannot understand. 

Some are judging the people instead of the act –

This has caused many who are post abortive to feel judged… a lack of compassion and a sure lack of invitation back to the church.

It instills more of the guilt and shame they are already living with

Many women feel the church does not offer forgiveness and they are doomed to hell.

Dave Reordon of the Elliot Institute says, “God is asking us to learn greater compassion for sinners”. 

There is a lack of understanding

It is The Prayer of the Pharisee

In the Arms of Mary says, we are all capable of committing every kind of sin

If God does not preserve us from doing so

In the case of those post abortive there is also misunderstanding

Abortion keeps my sinfulness before me.  It is easy to see because it is so grave and so big, but do I see my other sins?

Do I look at what I see as the Judgmentalism of pro life movement and then judge them?

Am I unwilling to recognize their behavior may be out of ignorance and a lack of understanding?

Am I unmerciful to others although I have desired mercy?

Do I look at those who hurt me or pressured me to abort and judge them in my heart giving them the blame without taking responsibility for my own actions?

Do I continue to deny my lifestyle and the things that led me to abortion to begin with?

Do I realize healing is a gift from God who loves me and not something I earn and without Him I could not even look at my abortion?

All must be given to God as Mary did. 

In the Arms says: ”Only when you believe that you are loved will you adapt in the face of overwhelming difficulties, the attitude of a child, who with trust, presents oneself before its Father.  You will then find the courage to learn a deeper way about the abyss of your own wretchedness.”

Have I forgotten my wretchedness and who healed me?

Is it still about me, am I only sorry because of the hurt it has caused me?

Do I recognize my other daily sins and think because I have admitted my abortion I am humble, when in fact my recognition may have made me more prideful thinking I am humble

In the Arms of Mary warns us to be careful of anything good.  That is true whether we are pro choice, pro life or post abortive.  We are all sinners in need of His mercy.

Maybe this is what we all need to learn through abortion. 

Maybe when we have compassion and understanding for others, when we show the mercy God has shown to all, maybe then abortion will end.

Acknowledging our own sinfulness frees us – it takes us out of control and places us back in the hands of God who loves us.We must be willing to do what God asks us, not what we want no matter what it may be, trusting in His great love for us as Mary did.  We must keep our eyes on Him and what He is asking of us instead of looking at others.

We must imitate and entrust ourselves to Mary as our Mother, allowing her to carry us in her arms knowing she will always lead us to her son.  What better place can there be?

To be able to have the prayer of the tax collector we must admit that even the fact that everything is a gift from God.  Nothing comes from us, and only He can end abortion.

May we all pray the prayer of the tax collector:

For as the book says:

I have only my sins

But you love me Lord