Reclaiming Our Children: A Blog About Healing After Abortion

The pain of abortion is often shrouded in silence and shame manifesting itself in unhealthy ways on many levels for those who are post abortive.  In John 8:32 we are told, “And you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free”. The truth about our abortion experience is no exception. Sharing our story with others is both healing and freeing, but does this mean you have to go public to be healed?

In recent times there seems to be a push for those who are post abortive to share their testimonies in public, and oftentimes there is an implication that unless you do so, you will not be healed. But is this true? Do all alcoholics speak of their actions publically, or adulterers? Of course not. While there are some who openly discuss their sinfulness, most only share their experience in the rooms of AA, with a clergy person, a friend or a professional therapist, so why the push for those post abortive?

In recent years I have seen more than a few women run full force into full disclosure in the quest for healing. Often they are nowhere near ready or healed enough to withstand the scrutiny of public speaking and become even more wounded. Some speak out before family members even know of the abortion, causing deep pain to family members. Others speak so that they can attain the promised healing they are so desperate to achieve. Recently, a woman shared with me how her relationship with her son was strained. She has been active in giving her public abortion testimony. When I asked how her son felt about it she told me she did not know, she had never spoken to her son privately about her abortion, he learned of the death of his sibling from her public witness. She is not the first, or the only person I have heard stories like this from. whether you know it or not siblings hurt too.

While I support and even participate in the wonderful organizations such as Silent No More and Operation Outcry who have done tremendous good and bring the pain of abortion to the forefront of the debate showing its harm to countless people, but, they are not for everyone. Just as every alcoholic does not announce his addiction to the world, not every post abortive person is called to give public witness. Even with countless boundaries in place, unfortunately, some fall through the cracks.

I worry sometimes, that in our eagerness to end abortion we sometimes exploit those who have had them. Are we ministering to one soul at a time? Is our concern for the good of that individual soul and not for the wider issue of ending abortion? Do we see the dignity of each of these souls in the sight of God recognizing His love for them? Are our intentions pure ? I truly believe if we minister solely for the individual person, with no ulterior purpose, God will end abortion.

The quest for healing from abortion is intense because the pain is intense. The desire for acceptance and forgiveness can cloud a person’s view and pull them full force ahead without a real concept of God’s will.  Only God can reveal if a person truly should go public with their abortion story. Under the guidance of a good spiritual director and the aid of a healing program, women and men who are thinking of speaking out can discern God’s will for them. He may call some to go public; others may be used in other ways, one on one sharing, work in a ministry, writing, or perhaps a commitment to prayer. Healing comes in doing God’s will, not in public speaking or with other prerequisite. That price has already been paid by Mercy Himself.