Reclaiming Our Children: A Blog About Healing After Abortion

        May the light of thy faith dispel the darkness of my mind; may thy profound humility take the place of my pride; may thy sublime contemplation check the distractions of my             wandering imagination; may thy continuous sight of God fill my memory with His presence; may the burning love of thy heart inflame the lukewarmness of mine; may thy             virtues take the place of my sins; may thy merits be my only adornment in the sight of God and make up for all that is wanting in me.

This month I renewed my consecration to Mary through the book True Devotion , by St Louis Marie de Montfort. It has been 37 years since I first made this consecration. Every year since, I have made the 33 days of preparation to pull me back to her in many ways I’ve strayed.  Although I try to live the consecration daily I always find I have moved away, or realize how, during the previous year, she has drawn me closer to herself.

There is no doubt this devotion has changed my life in countless ways and I am so grateful for it. It has helped me in many ways along my healing journey. Still, with all the craziness in the world I recognize even more  the depth of my misery and how far I am from living life as God wills.

Instead of despairing however, I recognize how grateful I am to be hers and under her mantle and protection. She's always leading me, like a good mother to the heart of her Son. I know she continues to prune me, teaching me always to surrender and trust as she does.

The prayer above is an excerpt from the book , St Louis' prayer to Mary.  This prayer really struck me in a more intense way this year, as I, like many, struggle with so much unrest in the country and the world. I am quick to judge, weak in faith and my pride often gets the best of me. I am distracted in prayer and often forget to stay in the presence of God thinking I know better. But I turn myself over to Mary who keeps me on the path protecting me, battling for me, loving me.

We can be so blind to our “self”, but I no longer worry nor am I surprised at my falls, without the presence of God I am left to my own devices, but I know they love me and that I desire to love them as I should and I trust Mary, given to us at the foot of the cross to guide me safely to Jesus who died for my sins, even my sin of abortion.