Reclaiming Our Children: A Blog About Healing After Abortion

A cry is heard in Ramah—    deep anguish and bitter weeping.
Rachel weeps for her children, refusing to be comforted—
    for her children are gone.”

But now this is what the Lord says:

“Do not weep any longer, for I will reward you,” says the Lord.
“Your children will come back to you from the distant land of the enemy. 

There is hope for your future,” says the Lord.  Jeremiah 31: 15-17

It’s been over 50 years since I had my abortion. An event that changed my life forever. Sometimes things that happened in my life over the years were obviously a result of the trauma of abortion, other times I had no awareness of the association it had to the present moment.

All these years later I am still learning the many ways my abortion experience impacted my life and still does.

Some people say you get healing and it’s over. I used to believe that as well. There were times along the way when I thought I had “arrived,” and although I have had some significant reprieves, I have not found that to be true.

Even with developing and working in the Entering Canaan Ministry, a ministry that thousands have gone through and received healing from over the past 30 years, I am still learning myself. I’m still on the journey to God and heaven. He is always going deeper into the wound showing me how it has impacted my life in ways I never imagined, so He can heal me more. More healing, more of His love.

Is it the same as when I first came forward for healing? No, not at all. Instead of walking in guilt and shame thinking there is no forgiveness I now walk in peace and trust with Jesus and Mary despite any feelings I may have.

Instead of being mortified by what I see in myself, I recognize I am a sinner in need of His mercy and that His mercy always waits for me. That He wants and is healing me in my deepest wounds.

I believe the difference in being healed or not being healed does not come from forgetting about my aborted son, or being freed from sorrow and forgetting about the abortion, but in the experience of knowing His love and mercy and what he has done for me in dying in cross, the only place with love deep enough to conquer the sin of abortion.

Some equate the above bible verse with total healing in this life, but most people I know who have forged the journey of healing from abortion for any significant period of time have found the same thing I have to be true.  For me, this bible verse is a promise of heaven.    A “reward” that awaits us because of our sorrow and contrition. A reward that encompasses the total freedom from the effects of the sin of abortion and a reuniting with our children because we will be face to face with the living God who is love and mercy Itself.

“Your children will come back to you from the distant land of the enemy. There is hope for your future,” A future of everlasting life with a God whose unfathomable mercy and love saves me, then, I will weep no more.

Theresa Bonopartis