I was in the middle of writing an article on feeling unforgivable when I took a break and came across this on FB. My heart breaks for this person whoever it is…a lot of the comments on the post were brutal and full of judgment even after reading what this girl, who is trying to reconcile the devastation abortion did in their lives,had written.
When I read posts like those I saw here, I feel sorry for the people doing the judging. Its true that some women chose abortion freely, but we do not know what is truly in anyones heart. Abortion is ALWAYS wrong but the heart of the person belongs to God. We have no idea what prompted a person to abort or if they were coerced etc. God alone can judge.
This person says her mom is not ready to speak out. Of course not, if she feels condemned and judged why would she feel safe to come forward? If she is reminded at every turn about what she has done and called a murderer, why would she open her soul? I wish she would learn about the many great ministries she could come to for post abortion healing so she would not feel so alone and condemned. I pray she finds deep healing and peace in Jesus Christ, that will then surely give her the grace to firmly know forgiveness and allow her to speak out, because then she will not care what others say because she will know what He has done for her,
I am so grateful to know the unlimited mercy of God. A God who forgives and offers healing and wholeness. We are all sinners in need of His mercy. I am going to post what this sibling wrote. I hope she comes to our sibling retreat….no one will judge her mom there and she will be able to freely express her feeling surrounding losing a sibling to abortion without fear…
(this is a reprint)
Women are guilt tripped, forced, coerced with lies from every angle, and in
the end they are completely TRAPPED when they abort their children. Why
do you think abortions happen? — My mom feared for her life when she was
pregnant – as a teenager, so that is why she aborted. She feared that her dad
would either beat her or disown her. I do not condemn her and you shouldn’t
either. She expressed to me recently that she fears condemnation. She told me
this with tears welling up in her eyes (she even was speaking of herself and
her abortion in 3rd person). She was so scared of what I would say back to her.
I educate her in LOVE and you should do the same with other post abortive women. (EVEN IF THOSE WOMEN ARE BEING HARD-HEADED! I KNOW IT’S HARD SOMETIMES, BUT YOU GOT TO KEEP ON, KEEP YOUR COOL, KEEP YOUR
COMPOSURE.)For you to call out a woman a MURDERER or any other harsh
word to describe what she did to her child, that is an UNFAIR label. It’s not her fault that she was backed into a corner with no one to help her (she felt there was no one to help her). My mom had felt unloved. My mom felt like the lowest piece of scum on the earth.
My mom admittedly said she felt like she wanted to die because she was so scared when she got pregnant as a teen. She understood it was wrong when she was sitting in those stirrups about to have her almost 3 month old pre-born baby ripped apart. My brother or sister. She understands now wholeheartedly that it was a mistake. That is why she gets so defensive when I try to bring it up. She felt that she had NO-CHOICE when she made her choice to abort. That is called being trapped and then on top of that coerced. You’re going to verbally condemn a woman? Seriously? That’s the lowest of the low. How on earth do you think that would make her feel? She may need a push at certain times, but there are limits and then there are certain things that you NEVER SAY.
You are not needed to remind her that it was wrong to abort: no matter who you
think you are or what agenda you may be pushing. She knows it was wrong deep in
her heart. It takes time for it to surface. My mom told me that she already
made amends with God and she doesn’t need anyone’s approval. Which is correct,
I agreed with her and I hugged her – but I asked her why doesn’t she try to advocate
the right to LIFE for other babies, and try to help other women out so that other
women won’t feel the same as she did and make the wrong decision? She said she’s not ready for it. She’s still not healed yet and it would be too painful to “get out there and help others not make the same decision she did”. We need to respect this
with ALL post-abortive women. It’s been 35+ years and I’m not even 2 years into trying to get her healed up. It’s going to be awhile.
She will extend her hand to me (since I gained her trust) to help her heal from the death of her child (my brother/sister) – on her own time. And ONLY on her own time: not a second before.
You should not consider a person who is scared, confused, many times put under pressure by other people (even their own families,who should be supportive instead of threatening), who is lied to, and who feels like she truly has no other choice and is all alone in this, to be a murderer. To commit a crime or to sin, you must know that what
you’re doing is wrong AND you have to commit that freely. What freedom is there on someone being put under tremendous pressure by everyone around, who is lied to about that baby, threatened to be kicked out of her home, feeling like there’s no one to turn to for help (both material and spiritual)? -Katie
Reclaiming Our Children: A Blog About Healing After Abortion 