“Force yourself, if necessary, always to forgive those who offend you, from the very first moment. For the greatest injury or offense you can suffer from them is nothing compared to what God has forgiven you.” -St. Josemaria Escriva
I have a very deep wound in my life. A wound from people I thought loved me. People I entrusted with my heart and shared my wound of abortion. In truth, I tried to “fix” it a number of times, but I found no real willingness. No attempt to right the wrongs, no attempt to love- just ongoing hurts. I have learned over the years that it has more to do with them and what they are then it does with me.
As I renew my consecration to Mary I am understanding this situation is pushing the boundaries of love in me. As I stand with Mary at the foot of the cross full of sorrow and pain I see that in the midst of that pain she took me as her child. Me who killed her son. She embraced me in love. She took on the task to teach me, to call me to His life. To focus on His mercy and love, his conquering of sin and death instead of my feelings.
I don’t know that anything will ever change with the people who caused me so much pain but I know that I cannot allow it to stop me from loving. I need to make the choice to forgive even if it is multiple times a day. That whatever pain I feel as a result of their actions I need to offer for souls- even their souls.
I need to embrace the cross that teaches me to love the way Jesus loves.
Reclaiming Our Children: A Blog About Healing After Abortion 